Monday, 15 April 2013

RCCGB Blackpool Bash 2013

Date: Friday 5 April to Sunday 7 April 2013
Venue: Pleasure Beach Resort, Blackpool
Who Went: Me and a large number of other RCCGB members, including Andy and Christine Hine, Alan Chilvers, Adam Bysouth, Adey, Kellie and Katelyn, Andy Hunter, AndyT, Barry, Brian (mophead), Carl May, Dave Maryan, Death, Derek, Julie, Alan and Saffron Eddy, Emma Roids, Francis Price, Gareth Arkell, Gareth Preece, John Musk, Kelly Cameron, Looping Lee, Mary (Regatta) and Andy Knight, Mark Blundell, Matt Walker, Matthew Bauckham, Peter, Lauren and Aidan O'Brien, Planenut, Robert Nutter, Ryan Hackett, Sam & Penny, Tom Hey, Wendy Evans.

DISCLAIMER: The above is NOT intended to be an exhaustive list of everyone who attended. It's a small sample of attendees; mainly those who performed billed or Gong Show acts Saturday night, and/or who I spoke to / rode with over the weekend. I sincerely apologise to anyone else who was there and I've not listed. Not all attendees (whether or not listed above) attended the event in its entirety.

Introduction
The Club's annual UK mega-trip to start the new coaster season. Once again the Blackpool Bash was a great success, with three professional entertainers Friday night, a day of riding Saturday daytime (including the morning and late afternoon ERSs), a fancy dress party with songs, games, the Gong Show and a disco Saturday evening, and another ERS Sunday morning. A great turnout too with around 400 of us there from all over the UK (my list above is just a handful of them). I was determined as ever to attend the Blackpool Bash, and for the first time ever performed a billed act Saturday evening.

To make the rest of this report easier to read, I've split it into sections. Click the applicable link below to jump to the section you want to read:
Thursday 4 April
Day One - Friday 5 April
Day Two - Saturday 6 April (daytime)
Day Two - Saturday 6 April (evening)
Day Three - Sunday 7 April
Outro

Enjoy my report at your leisure.

Thursday 4 April

Getting To Blackpool
Just like last year, I travelled to Blackpool by train the afternoon of Thursday 4 April, leaving Bath Spa soon after midday. It was a pleasant journey, requiring four trains: the 12:12 Bath Spa to Bristol Temple Meads, followed by the 13:21 to Newport (Gwent), 14:19 to Manchester Piccadilly (via the Hereford line) and finally the 17:27 to Blackpool North. Having finally reached Blackpool North just before 7pm, I took a short walk, and from a bus stop near Wilkinson caught a bus to the Pleasure Beach. After that, I checked into my pre-booked hotel for three nights. It was the same hotel, close to Pleasure Beach Resort, that I stayed at 2008 to 2012 inclusive.

Thursday Evening
Around 7:40pm I went to The Auctioneer (Wetherspoons) for an evening meal. Although it was Curry Club night, I decided to choose something from the main menu, rather than a Curry Club meal. After looking at the menu, I chose Piri piri chicken (served with chips, a pot of sauce and a pot of coleslaw) for main course, Eli's original baked vanilla cheesecake for dessert, and half a pint of Heineken to drink. Whilst there I unexpectedly met Barry (Rolf Harris lookalike) and spoke to him for a bit after my meal. Barry and I left The Auctioneer together and continued talking, we finally said goodbye outside William Hill. I returned to my hotel and relaxed in my room the rest of the evening.

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Day One - Friday 5 April

Daytime
Travelling Thursday afternoon gained me a day in Blackpool. For me Friday began with a delicious breakfast: cereal, a full English breakfast and toast. I spent the day at Sandcastle Water Park, and was in the pool / slides area from approximately 11:15am until closing time of 6pm. A separate report about my day there is available here. After leaving Sandcastle Water Park I returned to my hotel briefly to prepare for the evening.

Early Evening
Around 6:50pm I went to Pablo's Fish and Chips for a Pablo's Special, i.e. fish, chips, mushy peas, bread and butter, plus fizzy drink. Fish and chips is a must-have in Blackpool. I met Planenut there, so I sat at the same table as him. We had plenty to talk about together. When I finished my fish and chips, I had a Sundae Special for dessert. Having left Pablo's around 7:30pm, I went into Lucky Star Amusements and ascended their escalator, so effectively that was my first "ride" in Blackpool.

Friday Fun
The Blackpool Bash officially began when the Paradise Room doors opened. Around 7:40pm I entered the Paradise Room via the spiral stairs at Noah's Ark end. Everyone was given a free welcome pack on entry. Food was available to buy, but I didn't buy any as I'd just eaten. Having bought myself half a Fosters, I sat at a table close to the corner of the stage; my seat was with my back to the stage, so I turned the chair to face the stage.

Andy's Welcome
The fun really began when Andy Hine appeared and said his annual catchphrase. "Everybody say Blackpool". Afterwards he admitted that, due to health and safety regulations, he would not now be able to do the stage act with another member that he was planning to start the show with. To fill time he carried on talking and showed us the 25th anniversary mugs. This was followed by three acts.

Act 1: Rob Gaffney
The first proper act was magician Rob Gaffney, accompanied by his puppet in the box. At one point Rob called a member on stage to take part in a card trick. In my opinion the best bit was the number challenge, where everyone had to think of a number between 1 and 9. My starting number was 8. After a series of announced calculations it ended up becoming 4, which translated to the letter D. Everyone then had to (i) think of a country whose name begins with that letter (I thought of Denmark), (ii) take the country's second letter and think of an animal starting with that letter (I thought of elephant), and (iii) think of that animal's colour, i.e. grey for an elephant. The puppet in the box did some mind reading, and it seemed the puppet pointed towards me. Anyway the puppet guessed the target person was thinking of grey elephants in Denmark, that corresponded exactly to what I thought of (Denmark - elephant - grey). I was amazed, did the puppet really pick on me (above anyone else) and figure out what I was thinking of?

Act 2: Nicky Miller
To get us in the mood for Eurovision-themed Saturday, Nicky Miller sang several songs, starting with "Be My Baby". Although most of the songs weren't actual Eurovision songs, some were by artists that had represented countries in the Eurovision Song Contest in the past, e.g. Celine Dion - "I'm Alive". One actual past Eurovision song was "Boom Bang A Bang" by Lulu, which won for the UK in 1969 (along with three other countries). Nicky's final song was intended to be "Somebody to Love" by Queen. However when Nev reappeared, there was enough demand for one more song, so Nicky performed ABBA's "Waterloo" which won the Eurovision Song Contest for Sweden in 1974, and many including me sang along. When she finished singing "Waterloo", it was time for a 15 minute interval. Now was a convenient opportunity for members to get another drink, so I bought myself an orange juice and lemonade.

Act 3: Craig Harper
After the interval Craig Harper amused everyone with jokes and songs for over an hour. Craig told plenty of amusing jokes on stage. He recognised me from his previous Blackpool Bash appearance in 2009, and I reminded him of my mention of the Weymouth Super Snails back then. Standing in front of the stage, he let me speak into the microphone to share my words with the audience, and also show everyone my "I am 14 backwards" T-shirt from my September 2012 birthday. In addition Craig sang a few songs including "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias and "Rule The World" by Take That (during which he asked the audience to hold up something that lights up). He rounded off his act by singing "Time to Say Goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli in Italian. As soon as Craig finished singing, Nev reappeared, and said Craig could have a few more minutes on stage.

Drinking Up Time
When Craig finally finished performing, Nev announced that Friday Fun was now over. There was still time to finish our drinks, but we had to be out by 11pm. I had my photo taken with Craig. Also I spoke to a few other members before heading back to my hotel for the night.

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Day Two - Saturday 6 April (daytime)

First Thing
I asked for an early breakfast at 8:20am so that I could be at the Paradise Room at 8:45am or soon after. I chose beans on toast as a lighter alternative to a full English (which I felt would be too risky before riding Big One, Steeplechase and the rest).

Initial Meet-Up
Members were asked to meet in the Paradise Room at 8:45am, however it was nearer to 9:00am when I entered via the staircase at the north end of the building. To save having to return to my hotel early evening, I took everything I needed for the evening (camcorder and tripod, black shoes, etc.) and placed them in a dressing room back stage. Once inside I met the Eddy family and spoke to them for a few minutes. I was particularly pleased to meet them as the last time we'd met was the Adventure Island meet-up in July 2011; they weren't at the 2012 Blackpool Bash. Eventually I queued to be issued with my ride wristband, Park Pass and drink voucher. Just like last year, there was no lunch voucher this time.

Photo Call
At 9:45am we entered the Park. The sun was shining. Everyone gathered by the entrance to Grand National for a group photo. This took a few minutes.

Morning ERS
Afterwards we headed to the far end of the Park for the morning ERS on Big One, Steeplechase and Revolution. Three coasters, beat that for one ERS.

Just like the Blackpool Bash 2008 to 2012 inclusive, I wanted to start the day on Big One. As I stood at the entrance, workmen were checking the wheels on the train which was standing just outside the station entrance. A few minutes later members were allowed up the queue ramp as far as the riders' station entrance. However no-one was allowed into the station itself as the doors were closed. I was very close to the front of the queue (there were only two or three in front of me). I waited and waited, whilst at the same time being able to see other members riding Revolution. At 11:18 I decided enough was enough, and walked back down the entrance ramp.

Revolution
Having felt I'd already wasted some ERS time, I decided to start the day on Revolution. This Arrow Dynamics Launched Loop sit down steel coaster has been operating at PBR Blackpool since 1979. It was originally called Revolution from 1979 to some time in the 1990s. From then until 2011 it was called Irn-Bru Revolution. Early 2012 the orange structure was repainted grey and the ride reverted to its original name Revolution. I enjoyed two goes, as follows:

First go: back row. The train set off, went downhill, around the vertical loop, uphill and along a flat section where it suddenly ground to an abrupt halt. After a brief pause, the train went backwards through the loop until it was back at the station. Wow, a fast and thrilling ride, but I'm not sure whether going forwards or backwards was better.

Second go: second row from the front. This time I sat next to another RCCGB member who had not previously ridden this and therefore didn't know what to expect. To avoid spoiling the surprise for him, I didn't explain what was about to happen. He seemed surprised when the train ground to a halt, and the need to go backwards to return to the station.

Steeplechase
This Arrow Dynamics Special Coaster Systems steel coaster has been operating at PBR Blackpool since 1977. There are three separate tracks, completely independent of each other, which is why Steeplechase is sometimes regarded as three separate coasters. Coaster-Count classes it as three coasters, whereas Ride Count classes the three tracks as one coaster. Each track has individual horses as ride cars, and each horse can seat two riders. All three lanes were running, so I was determined to re-ride all three tracks. However it is possible to have just one or two tracks running. Although tame compared to Revolution and PMBO, I love its racing element, hoping to be first home. As the ERS progressed, I had time for three goes.

First go: I rode horse number 5 on the red track. Along the way I sang "Giddy up giddy up brave prince" and called out "Giddy up, people have bet their money on you". My horse won.

Second go: I rode horse number 10 on the green track. Once again I sang "Giddy up giddy up brave prince" and called out "Giddy up, people have bet their money on you" during the course of the ride. My horse won.

Third go: I rode horse 11 on the yellow track. Just like my previous two goes, I sang "Giddy up giddy up brave prince" and called out "Giddy up, people have bet their money on you". This time my horse finished last; the horse on the red track won, the horse on the green track finished second, and my horse on the yellow track finished way behind.

Well they say you can't win them all; I suppose I did well to win two of my three goes, and finish last on just one of them.

Big One
This Arrow Dynamics Hyper Coaster has been operating at PBR Blackpool since 28 May 1994. From 1994 to 2011 it was called Pepsi Max Big One, but since 2012 it has been known simply as Big One. Nonetheless the giant Pepsi Max can tunnel that the train goes through just after leaving the station is still there. Big One is one of five coasters of this model currently operating worldwide. Back in 1994 Big One was the tallest, fastest, steepest coaster in Europe, but sadly that's no longer the case. Although its maximum height of 213' (64.9 m) means it's still the UK's tallest coaster, it's now only the third tallest coaster operating in Europe. According to the Roller Coaster Database, Big One's top speed of 74 mph means it's now only the second fastest coaster in the UK, and sixth fastest currently operating coaster (soon to become seventh when ring°racer at Nürburgring, Germany opens) in Europe. It's certainly not the steepest any more, now there's Stealth, Rage and Mumbo Jumbo. The station announcement has now been amended to say "one of the tallest, fastest, steepest coasters in Europe".

The time was now just gone 11:00. At the entrance to Big One, I asked an attendant what the latest situation was with Big One. It was currently working, but due to problems with it earlier, our ERS had been extended to 11:30 to make sure we still had our full hour on it. Therefore I decided to have a go (possibly two) on it now. Although the queue was inside the station building, there was quite a wait for the loading point. When I reached one of the platform gates, a siren sounded and there was an announcement stating there was a problem, but they hoped to have the train running again soon. Riders from the preceding go were trapped on the train behind the station! Someone went to investigate, a few minutes later the train returned to the station. Once those riders left the train, all was fine to do another run.

I got on near the back. The train exited the station, went through the Pepsi can tunnel, up the lift hill, down the steep first drop, over the subsequent undulations and back to the station without any further problems. Altogether a mega fun ride on what is one of my favourite steel coasters; I remained quiet (no screaming) throughout the journey. Sadly this one go was my only go on this coaster this ERS, and indeed the whole day.

Morning Free Time
Once I left Big One, the morning ERS was over. Members spread themselves around the Pleasure Beach and took over the rides.

Big Dipper
I never rode this famous woodie at all during last year's Blackpool Bash due to problems with it during the Sunday morning ERS. Determined to ride all five woodies at Pleasure Beach in one day for the first time ever, I deliberately decided to start morning free time by riding Big Dipper. This sit down wooden coaster was built by Philadelphia Toboggan Coasters, Inc. and has been operating since 1923. The train set off around the bend, through the tunnel, around another bend, up the lift hill, around another bend, down the first drop and over all the subsequent undulations out and back to the station. Altogether an exciting ride; my first go of the day on a wooden coaster, and my first time of riding Big Dipper on the Saturday of a Blackpool Bash (previous years I deliberately avoided this Saturday knowing we'd be riding it during the Sunday morning ERS). For now I only had one go, which ended up being my only go on this all day.

River Caves
The queue for this boat ride was very short, so I faced just a few minutes wait. My boat sailed through a series of chambers, each with a different scene. One chamber featured stalagmites and stalactites. Towards the end, my boat went uphill, along the outdoor section (which you can see from the path) and down a drop, to create a splash. This was my only go on here all day.

When I left River Caves the time was 12:27. Without further ado I decided to go to the Paradise Room for lunch.

Lunch At Paradise Room
I entered the Paradise Room via the spiral stairs at Noah's Ark end. Once inside I headed straight for the bar and used my drink voucher to get a glass of Pepsi Cola. Being as this year's Blackpool Bash was Eurovision themed, Eurovision songs were being played as background music. There was a very long queue for food; I suddenly I felt I ought to have had one more ride and gone to the Paradise Room around 12:50pm. For now looked at the merchandise table, and bought myself a RCCGB 25th anniversary T-shirt.

Now that the food queue was considerably shorter, I joined the back of it. I had chicken, fries, bread roll and butter. A vegetarian alternative to chicken was available. Having been served I went to a separate table to help myself to coleslaw and side salad before sitting down to enjoy my meal.

During lunch there were speeches from Andy Hine and David Cam. Andy Hine was presented with a chrome plated link from the Grand National lift chain. Two RCCGB 25th anniversary cakes were unveiled. They were well photographed by many members including me. Eventually the larger one was cut into small portions for members to have, so I had a piece. It was really delicious, two layers of light sponge with cream in the middle.

Afternoon Free Time
At 1:52pm I left the Paradise Room and returned to the Pleasure Beach.

Wild Mouse
My first ride after lunch, and my second ride on a woodie for today. According to the Roller Coaster Database, this wooden mouse coaster was built in-house by Frank Wright, and has been operating since 1958. The queue wasn't all that long, I didn't time it but I guess I must have waited about 10 to 15 minutes. When it was my turn I got into car number 7 (Gazza). The car climbed the lift hill, and worked its way downwards through several sharp hairpin bends along the way. This made for quite a rough ride. I noticed AIRtime on the dips near the end. This was my only go on Wild Mouse all day.

Grand Prix
A car ride, whereby the cars run on what resembles a giant Scalextric track. I sat in car number 3, which is red, and was taken down the spiral (like in a multi-storey car park), towards Big One and back, then up the spiral back to the station. Depending on your take of things, you could perhaps class it as a coaster, considering it has ride cars which run on a track, that spirals down and up hill. What do you think? Coaster or not coaster? Although quite a tame ride really, it was worth one go to say I'd been on it this trip.

At this point I headed into Nickelodeon Land. I most wanted to ride Nickelodeon Streak and Blue Flyer there, but was keen to ride some of the other rides there as well.

The Krusty Krab Order Up!
Formerly Fruit Shoot The Ride in the Beaver Creek section until 2010, this Moser Rides drop tower was re-themed and renamed The Krusty Krab Order Up for inclusion in Nickelodeon Land in 2011. It has two seat units (one each side of the tower). This was quite a tame ride; the unit went up and down a few times and that was it. There was nothing scary about this. I would guess they had this on a mild setting; I'm pretty sure the last time I rode Jumping Bean at Paultons (also a Moser Rides drop tower) in September 2010 I had more up-down cycles and a more exciting ride experience. I only rode this once.

Dora's World Voyage
A boat ride introduced as part of Nickelodeon Land in 2011. I got into a boat which sailed around the canal start to finish through different zones: France, Russia, Tanzania and China. A song was played on the boat, repeatedly mentioning "Hello" in the applicable language, e.g. Bonjour in France. Obviously the words changed at the zone transitions. This was my only ride on here all day

Spongebob's Splash Bash
Sets of circular boats on small turntables. The small turntables spin on a larger turntable which also spins. The effect is a bit like riding a twister or waltzer ride but not as fast. At the start of the ride the turntables sink so the area is flooded. Each boat has water cannons, so whilst the ride is in motion you can squirt riders on other boats, and on-lookers outside the ride. Be warned though, riders on other boats may squirt you back. There are also water cannons outside the ride, which allow on-lookers to squirt riders. Another fun ride, but be warned, you will probably get a bit wet on this ride. My one go now was my only go on this all day.

Fairy World Taxi Spin
This was introduced as part of Nickelodeon Land in 2011 and features taxis on the ends of spokes. If you are sitting in the front seat you can press a button to make the taxi go up. The taxi is lowered when the button is released. I got into the front seat of car number 2. Although a tame ride, it was worth one go increase my cumulative count on it to-date. This was my only go on Fairy World Taxi Spin all day.

Diego's Rainforest Rescue
Another ride introduced as part of Nickelodeon Land in 2011, a set of balloons around a tower. I got into basket number 6. The balloons began travelling around the tower. Shortly afterwards the set of balloons rose to the tower top where they continued travelling around the tower high up. Eventually the balloon cluster descended to ground level and the ride completely stopped. This was my only go on Diego's Rainforest Rescue all day.

Blue Flyer
My third wooden coaster for today. This wooden coaster (built by Philadelphia Toboggan Coasters, Inc.) originally operated as Zipper Dipper from 1934 to 2010. At the start of 2011 it was repainted blue and re-themed as Blue Flyer, part of the new Nickelodeon Land section. Although the resort's smallest wooden coaster, it was great fun. I enjoyed two goes on this little woodie: one in the second-from-back row, followed by one in the front row. There were pops of AIRtime on the dips.

Grand National ERS
It was now time for our ERS on the Resort's classic twin track Möbius racing wooden coaster Grand National. This was built by Philadelphia Toboggan Coasters, Inc. and has been operating since 1935. According to the RCDB, its maximum height of 62' (18.9 m) makes it the tallest of the five wooden coasters at PBR Blackpool, but only the third tallest currently operating wooden coaster in the UK. Due to the way the coaster is designed, on one go you depart from one platform and return to the station on the opposite platform. The platform you depart from at the start of your ride dictates which lift hill (left or right facing upwards) your train ascends. Doing a complete circuit of the track back to where you get on would require two consecutive goes without getting off in between. Consequently you could class this coaster as two coasters. Coaster-Count classes it as two coasters; whereas Ride Count classes the whole thing as one coaster.

The Grand National ERS was billed to run from 4pm to 5pm. When I got there at 4:07pm the ERS was already under way. I had to show my trip badge to gain access to this coaster. During the ERS I had time for three goes.

First go (left lift hill): I sat in the back row of the green train which climbed the left lift hill. Opponent blue train on the right lift hill. Along the way I sang "Giddy up giddy up brave prince" and shouted "Giddy up, we want our train to win". The finish was inconclusive; it seemed more or less neck and neck to me.

Second go (right lift hill): I was on the maroon train which climbed the right lift hill. Opponent red train on the left lift hill. Again I sang "Giddy up giddy up brave prince" and shouted "Giddy up, people have got their money bet on this train". Result the maroon train (my train) won by a wide margin, whereas the red train lost. Wonderful!

Third go (right lift hill): I was on the green train which climbed the right lift hill. Opponent blue train on the left lift hill. Yet again I sang "Giddy up giddy up brave prince" and shouted "Giddy up, we want our train to win, don't let the other train catch us. Result: the green train (my train) won by a wide margin and the blue train lost. Hurray!

Altogether another fun ERS. It was really satisfying to have this coaster to ourselves on the day of the famous Grand National race at Aintree for the second year running, indeed roughly the time of the actual race (which was scheduled to start at 4:15pm). I was really pleased my train won by a huge margin on two of my three goes.

Early Evening Free Time
After the ERS ended at 5:00pm, members returned to their hotels to relax and prepare for the evening, or rode until closing time (8pm). Having finally left Grand National at 5:08pm, I continued riding until 6:40pm. In that time I rode the following once each.

Avalanche
This Mack Rides Bobsled coaster has been operating at PBR Blackpool since 22 June 1988, the same year as the RCCGB started. Therefore it was all the more important for me to ride this during the Blackpool Bash 2013 which marked the Club's 25th anniversary. According to the RCDB, it is one of six coasters of this model (five of which are currently operating) worldwide. Avalanche has a track length of 1490' (454.2 m) and no inversions. Seated in the back row, I remained quiet and totally relaxed for the entire journey. As far as I'm concerned, it's not scary at all; more a gentle rest ride. This was my only go on here all day.

Tetley Tea Cup Ride
Appropriately sponsored by Tetley, this differs from a normal tea cup ride in that there are two turntables, with notches in. The cups cleverly swap from one turntable to the other when the notches meet in the middle. Each cup has a centre table, but unlike a normal tea cup ride, you can't turn it to spin the cup faster, the cups just spin themselves.

So far I'd ridden four out of five wooden roller coasters at Pleasure Beach Resort, i.e. Big Dipper, Wild Mouse, Blue Flyer and Grand National. That just left Nickelodeon Streak. Determined to ride it, I headed for Nickelodeon Streak next.

Nickelodeon Streak
This classic woodie was built by Charles Paige and was originally called Roller Coaster from 1933 to 2010. Early 2011 it was repainted orange and re-themed Nickelodeon Streak, part of the new Nickelodeon Land section. This was my only go on this coaster all day. With a maximum height of 61' (18.6 m) Nickelodeon Streak is surprisingly taller than Big Dipper (60' or 18.3 m).

At this point I felt really proud to have ridden all five wooden coasters at Pleasure Beach Resort in one day for the first time ever. I wanted to go on Big One next, but when I got there it was closed. Feeling disappointed I headed for Infusion instead.

Infusion
This Vekoma SLC (689m Standard) inverted steel coaster originally operated as Traumatizer at Pleasureland Southport from 1999 to 5 Sep 2006. Since 2 May 2007 it has been operating as Infusion at Pleasure Beach Resort Blackpool. Its 689 metre (2260' 6" ) track length explains its model name. The train climbed the lift hill to a maximum height of 109' 3" (33.3 m), descended the first drop and went around a vertical loop followed by many more thrilling features. I had just one go in the back row.

Flying Machines
My final ride of the day, I sat in plane GT1. The planes start going anticlockwise close to the platform, and are gradually angled further outwards. At the maximum extent you are sitting at a fairly steep angle. Eventually the planes head back inwards, until you're back with the platform.

Summary of my day in order of activity
Morning ERS: Revolution 2, Steeplechase 3 (red track 1, green track 1, yellow track 1), Big One 1

Big Dipper 1
River Caves 1

Lunch in the Paradise Room

Wild Mouse 1
Grand Prix 1
The Krusty Krab Order Up! 1
Dora's World Voyage 1
Spongebob's Splash Bash 1
Fairy World Taxi Spin 1
Diego's Rainforest Rescue 1
Blue Flyer 2

Afternoon ERS: Grand National 3 (left lift hill, right lift hill, right lift hill)

Avalanche 1
Tetley Tea Cup Ride 1
Nickelodeon Streak 1
Infusion 1
Flying Machines 1

Cumulative Summary of My Rides (ERSs and Free Time Combined)

Ride
Total
Avalanche
1
Big Dipper
1
Big One
1
Blue Flyer
2
Diego's Rainforest Rescue
1
Dora's World Voyage
1
Fairy World Taxi Spin
1
Flying Machines
1
Grand National
3
Grand Prix
1
Infusion
1
Nickelodeon Streak
1
Revolution
2
River Caves
1
Spongebob's Splash Bash
1
Steeplechase
3
Tetley Tea Cup Ride
1
The Krusty Krab Order Up!
1
Wild Mouse
1
TOTAL
25

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Day Two - Saturday 6 April (evening)

Coaster Crazy Show
At 6:40pm I had to leave Pleasure Beach to allow time for a rehearsal in the Paradise Room. Thinking the doors to the Paradise Room at the top of the spiral stairs (Noah's Ark end) might be locked, I headed straight for the entrance at the north end. Thankfully that was open so I was able to ascend the stairs at that end and thus enter the Paradise Room that way. Once inside rehearsals were taking place. Immediately I chose my seat for the evening; a table roughly opposite the stage front. Next I met Brian, Tom and Death and we had one "Hard Rock Hallelujah" rehearsal on stage together. Afterwards we practised it twice more in the dressing room back stage. I also tried on the monster outfit Brian had made for me. All was fine but I removed it afterwards as our plan was to get into monster outfits just before our performance.

For now I put on my UEFA Euro 2012 T-shirt, as that's got Poland-Ukraine on it. The loose connection with Eurovision was that Poland and Ukraine have both taken part in the Eurovision Song Contest; Poland finished second on their debut entry in 1994; Ukraine won in 2004 and were second with Verka Serduchka - "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" in 2007. I also put on a pair of black sports shorts. Afterwards I set up my camcorder and tripod. My seat facing the table was with my back to the stage, so when the show began I turned my chair to face the stage.

Around 7:45pm the doors opened to members not taking part. This year's theme was Eurovision, and many dressed in something connected with the Eurovision Song Contest. Some wrapped a flag around themselves. One group of four dressed as ABBA. Peter O'Brien, Lauren and Aidan wore Eurovision country T-shirts (Ireland, Greece and Spain respectively) which they had made themselves; each of which had Eurovision, country name and flag on the front, and "Winners" plus relevant years on the back.

Show Opener: Alan Chilvers, Paul and Emma
As expected the show began with Charpentier's Te Deum prelude "Marche en rondeau", just like the start of every Eurovision Song Contest. This was followed by Alan Chilvers, Paul and Emma singing a parodised version of "One Vision" (Queen), which had certain lyrics replaced with "Eurovision" and "competition".

Welcome: Andy Hine
When the above act ended, Nev appeared to give his opening speech.

Act 1: Kelly Cameron - "Ooh Ahh Just A Little Bit"
The first Eurovision song of the night, "Ooh Ahh Just A Little Bit", originally performed by Gina G for the UK in 1996. Kelly gave a first class performance of this song, and attracted much cheering and applause at the end.

At the end of this act I went back stage to get ready for my act a little later, i.e. putting on my monster outfit, mask and wig.

Game 1: Yes/No
Nev reappeared to present the first game of the evening. Six contestants were chosen earlier in the day. Each contestant had to answer Nev's questions for one minute without replying "Yes" or "No". An additional rule was that pausing or giving irrelevant answers would result in being out. The six contestants were as follows (the time each one lasted is shown alongside the name):

Lee Bennett - 25 seconds.
Robert Nutter - 21 seconds
Mark Millions - one minute
Adam Bysouth - one minute
John Musk - 18 seconds
Francis Price - 53 seconds

Top three: Mark Millions, Adam Bysouth, Francis Price. They went on to game 3 later.

Act 2: The Coaster Kids - "Save Your Coasters For Me"
Four girls who have been in the Gong Show the last couple of years. This year they were back to perform a billed act: their own rewritten version of "Save Your Kisses For Me" (Brotherhood of Man's winning song for the UK in 1976). The Coaster Kids' version was called "Save Your Coasters For Me". As well as the change to the title, a few other lyrics were replaced with coaster related words, e.g. "Gonna climb out the car". At the end Nev asked "Did you spot the change in words?".

Act 3: Nemesis Nick, Death, Tom Hey and Brian (mophead) - "Hard Rock Hallelujah"
Immediately afterwards Nev was dragged back behind the curtains, and I appeared through the curtains, shortly followed by Death, Tom Hey and Brian (mophead) to sing "Hard Rock Hallelujah" (the winning song by Lordi for Finland in 2006). For those who are unsure, this was the act with the monsters; though obviously it was difficult to tell who was who during the performance as we were wearing masks. This was my first time of revealing my Lordi outfit (which doubled as my official Eurovision fancy dress outfit for this year) to the audience for the first time. I was the lead singer, and the others joined in for certain parts. As soon as we finished we went behind the curtains and Nev reappeared saying "Thank you Lordi". Nev then called us back briefly to say who was who. Our act was greatly appreciated by the audience and attracted much cheering and applause.

Game 2: Kids' Gopher
It was now time for the second of tonight's games, this one solely for children. Ten children entered at the start. Unfortunately two girls sat neck and neck on one chair. To resolve the problem, Nev asked Alan Chilvers for an eleventh chair. Thus just for once there were eleven children at the start. When called, they ran into the audience to fetch an item specified by Nev, e.g. watch, hotel key, camera. The time it took all the children to find the required item varied considerably. Each time they returned there was one less chair, forcing the child unable to find a seat out, just like musical chairs. Well done to Grace who won the competition, she won a Nickelodeon goodie bag.

Here is the complete list of items the children were asked to get:
Coaster T-shirt
Purse or wallet
Watch
Hotel key
Any coaster club membership card
Photo of a loved one
Camera
Something edible
Anything made of rubber
Two finalists: Sit on a lap of an American

Act 4: Dave Maryan - "That's Life"
Last year's Gong Show winner Dave Maryan was back this year to perform a billed act "That's Life". Once again he gave an outstanding performance and attracted much cheering and applause at the end.

The Gong Show
It was now time for the famous Gong Show, which consisted of nine acts.

Gong Act 1: SuperDini and Emma Roids - Escapologist
The first gong act featured Alan Chilvers as escapologist SuperDini, and his assistant Emma Roids. SuperDini was placed in a sack, handcuffed and blindfolded. People started booing them during this time, but Nev insisted SuperDini have the chance to get completely into the sack before being booed off. Once the sack was tied he was given ten seconds to escape. The audience counted down ten to one. After that SuperDini still hadn't escaped so Nev sounded the horn.

Gong Act 2: Sam & Penny - Dancing and Accordion
Two first-timers Sam & Penny. Penny played the accordion quite well, whilst Sam danced along. Some initially clapped along, whereas fairly early some booed them. I shouted "More". Eventually more and more members of the audience started booing and Nev sounded the horn.

Gong Act 3: Fakir On - Snake Charmer
Fakir walked on stage, wearing a red fez and carrying a basket. He blew a recorder to charm a toy snake out of the basket. This attracted a mix of cheering and booing, it wasn't long before Nev blew the horn.

Gong Act 4: Carl May - Rap
Another first-timer, Carl performed a rap song he had written himself. The song was coaster-themed, it mentioned airtime, hang time and various coaster names. The chorus was "I've ridden 99 coasters and the Nash is one". He reached the end of his song with much cheering and applause. The first Gong Show act of the evening to reach the end without the horn going.

Gong Act 5: Barry & Dave - "Coaster Crazy"
Barry and Dave sang "Coaster Crazy", a coaster themed variation of "Wild Rover". Presumably they must have written it themselves. Whilst singing Barry played the tambourine. I thought it was quite a good effort, but anyway the horn went when they were mid-way through the second chorus.

Gong Act 6: Death
Nev admitted this needed no introduction. Death walked on stage with a saw blade attached to his right hand. After 20 seconds and plenty of booing the horn went.

Gong Act 7: Ella & Mollie - Dance
More Gong Show first-timers, two girls Ella & Mollie (otherwise known as CJ) dancing to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. They performed a well-choreographed dance which included jumping around and arm waving, one girl even did a cartwheel. They reached the end of the song, accompanied by much cheering and applause. They were only the second Gong act so far not to face the horn.

Gong Act 8: Matthew Bauckham & Dave - "Euphoria" / "Flying The Flag (For You)"
Matthew's act consisted of two Eurovision songs. He began on his knees singing the first verse and chorus of the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest winner "Euphoria" (Loreen - Sweden). Having got up he sang "Flying The Flag (For You)" - Scooch UK 2007 in its entirety. The audience clapped and cheered during the performance. Having reached the end of their act without the horn going, Matthew received plenty of cheering and applause.

Gong Act 9: Andy Hunter - Joe the camel
Andy brought a bag on stage. He opened the bag to reveal Joe the camel, which he held in front of a microphone. It wasn't long before Nev blew the horn. As the horn blew Andy jumped and waved his arm.

Vote for Best Act
Top four: Fakir On, Carl May, Ella & Mollie, Matthew Bauckham & Dave
Winners: Carl May, Ella & Mollie (two-way tie)

Vote for Worst Act
Bottom two: Death, Andy Hunter
Ultimate worst: Andy Hunter

The audience agreed that SuperDini should now be let out of the bag. When the sack was opened Emma Roids appeared. Evidently SuperDini and Emma must have swapped over back stage during the course of the Gong Show.

Act 5: Wendy Evans - Eurovision Medley
Back to the billed acts. Wendy Evans performed a medley of short bits of several past Eurovision songs as follows:
"Making Your Mind Up" - Bucks Fizz
"Save Your Kisses For Me" - Brotherhood of Man
"Boom-Bang-A-Bang" - Lulu
"Puppet On A String" - Sandie Shaw
"Love Shine A Light" - Katrina and the Waves

Interestingly they are all past UK Eurovision winners, of 1981, 1976, 1969, 1967 and 1997 respectively.

Game 3: Open the Box
The final game of the evening, Nev appeared with a set of nine boxes, arranged in a 3 x 3 manner. They were numbered 1 to 9 inclusive. The top three contestants (Mark Millions, Adam Bysouth, Francis Price) from game 1 returned to take part in this game one at a time. The first contestant had to pick a box. Nev asked the contestant whether he wanted to take the prize in the box, or the sum Nev was offering. By bidding Nev was willing to offer more and more up to a certain sum before the contestant had to make a final decision. The prize in the box may have been more valuable than what Nev was now offering to buy the box for; alternatively the box could contain a Post It! Notepad. Thus there was a risk to take in making one's decision. Nev announced what all nine hidden prizes were, without saying which box each one was in. The second contestant had to choose a box form the remaining eight, and the final contestant had to choose a box from the remaining seven. Unfortunately I don't have this entire game on video so am unsure of all the details; by the time this game started my camcorder battery had run out, but luckily I managed to connect the camcorder to a power point to get the end of the game and following act on video.

Act 6: Ryan and Co - "Dancing Lasha Tumbai"
It was now time for the finale. Originally performed as the finale to the 2008 Blackpool Bash, and back by popular demand, Ryan Hackett, Mark Blundell, Matt Walker and two others performed "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" (Verka Serduchka - Ukraine 2007). All five were dressed in their replica Verka Serduchka outfits they had made for their original performance in 2008. Members were encouraged to join in with the actions. Unfortunately I went back stage at the start of this act ready to reappear afterwards.

Thank you message: Andy Hine
At this point Nev reappeared to give a closing speech. He asked everyone to give a round of applause to everyone who had appeared on stage this evening. All those who had taken part in billed and gong acts during the course of the Coaster Crazy Show appeared, and Nev said "Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of tonight's Coaster Crazy Show.". Nev also thanked the staff including Peter and the sound and lighting technicians.

After Show Party
After Nev's closing speech the stage went down to form the dance floor for the disco which followed. To mark the Club's 25th anniversary, this year's disco lasted one and a quarter hours instead of the usual one hour. It included the usual "Relax" (Frankie Goes To Hollywood), "YMCA" (Village People), "Glad All Over", Can-Can, "The Locomotion" etc. Normally we get brief snippets of those, this time some of those were in full or almost in full, whereas some songs were just brief snippets. Near the end there were excerpts of several Eurovision songs, including "Flying The Flag (For You) (Scooch) and "Making Your Mind Up" (Bucks Fizz). As always the final four songs, played in full, were:

Dancing Lasha Tumbai (Ryan and co appeared on stage just in front of the curtains doing the actions)
Amarillo
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life
New York

Finally the Warner Brothers cartoon "That's all folks" marked the end of the disco.

When the disco ended, all those who had dressed up assembled in front of the curtains for the group photo. After that members were asked to pack up and leave as quickly as possible. I collected my belongings from my dressing room, along with my other items at the table where I sat much of the show. At 11:46pm I finally ready to leave the Paradise Room via the spiral stairs, and was back at my hotel a few minutes later.

Summary of Evening
Show Opener: Alan Chilvers, Paul and Emma
Welcome: Andy Hine
Act 1: Kelly Cameron - "Ooh Ahh Just A Little Bit"
Game 1: Yes/No
Act 2: The Coaster Kids - "Save Your Coasters For Me"
Act 3: Nemesis Nick, Death, Tom Hey and Brian (mophead) - "Hard Rock Hallelujah"
Game 2: Kids' Gopher
Act 4: Dave Maryan - "That's Life"

The Gong Show
1: SuperDini and Emma Roids - Escapologist (horn went)
2: Sam & Penny - Dancing and Accordion (horn went)
3: Fakir On - Snake Charmer (horn went)
4: Carl May - Rap
5: Barry & Dave - "Coaster Crazy" (horn went)
6: Death (horn went)
7: Ella & Mollie - Dance
8: Matthew Bauckham & Dave - "Euphoria" / "Flying The Flag (For You)"
9: Andy Hunter - Joe the camel (horn went)

Top four: Fakir On, Carl May, Ella & Mollie, Matthew Bauckham & Dave; joint winners Carl May and Ella & Mollie
Bottom two: Death v Andy Hunter; Ultimate worst Andy Hunter

Act 5: Wendy Evans - Eurovision Medley
Game 3: Open the Box
Act 6: Ryan and Co - "Dancing Lasha Tumbai"
Thank you message: Andy Hine

After Show Party (Disco)

Group photo

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Day Three - Sunday 7 April

First Thing
After an action packed Saturday I awoke at 7:30am, put on my RCCGB 25th anniversary T-shirt (which I bought Saturday lunchtime), packed and felt thirsty for more. I had breakfast at the official time of 9:00am. Once again, I could have had a full English breakfast, but chose beans on toast as a lighter alternative.

Initial Meet-Up
Having left my hotel just after 10:00am I walked to the Pleasure Beach as quickly as possible. A few minutes later I got to the Casino Tower. Everyone was waiting inside the tower on the ground floor this time. When it was almost time for us to enter the Park, Nev told us the ERS would be on three coasters: Big Dipper, Infusion and Wild Mouse. He said we will head straight to Infusion; Big Dipper will start shortly afterwards, followed by Wild Mouse. He warned us that, due to the mouse cars only seating two at a time, we should not all head for Wild Mouse at once as we'd waste a lot of ERS time waiting for a go.

Morning ERS
Around 10:15 the Club entered through the gates and headed in the direction of Big Dipper and Infusion for the morning ERS.

Big Dipper
As we passed Big Dipper, several members were already queuing for Big Dipper, so I joined the Big Dipper queue. Whilst queuing I talked to Mary (Regatta) Knight. Soon it was my turn. The train set off through the tunnel, up the lift hill and gave plenty of AIRtime on the dips out and back. A great start to the ERS.

I was going to have another go on Big Dipper, but the queue was now considerably longer, so instead I went to have a few goes on Infusion, and possibly return for a few more goes on Big Dipper towards the end of the ERS by which time I hoped Big Dipper would be quieter. Looking back, it's just as well I managed to get one go on Big Dipper when I did; although a disappointingly low count, one go was better than none!

Infusion
Now for a few goes on this Vekoma inverted steel coaster. Interestingly this seems to get included in the Sunday ERS most years, presumably because it used to be Traumatizer at Pleasureland Southport. Presumably having this as part of the Sunday morning ERS is Nev's subtle way of incorporating a bit of Sunday at Pleasureland Southport of yesteryear at Blackpool. Two trains were running. I was amazed how quiet this coaster was, I only left the station and looped back to the entrance after one of my goes; on all my other goes I was able to ride again without leaving the station; and sometimes managed to keep my existing seat between goes. I was only intending to have a few goes on Infusion, but when I found out from another member that Big Dipper had got stuck, I continued riding Infusion for the rest of the ERS. In so doing I clocked up nine goes in various rows as follows.

1st and 2nd goes: second-from-back row.
3rd and 4th goes: front row.
5th and 6th goes: fourth row.
7th and 8th goes: second row.
9th go: back row.

At the end of my ninth go the time was 11:33. The ERS was now over and I left the ride. Still I was really proud to have achieved nine goes straight off on Infusion during the ERS. That beat my previous personal best of seven goes straight off on Infusion during the 2009 Sunday morning Blackpool Bash ERS. It's also my new record for most goes on one coaster in an ERS (my previous best was eight on Roller Coaster during the Summer Bash 2008 ERS at Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach and eight on Megafobia in the dark ERS at Oakwood last year).

Summary of my rides this ERS in order of riding:
Big Dipper 1
Infusion 9

Cumulative Summary of My Rides

Ride
Total
Big Dipper
1
Infusion
9
TOTAL
10

Who beat me on that?

Rest of Sunday
The 2013 Blackpool Bash was to all intents and purposes over when the ERS finished at 11:30. No further events (e.g. lunch, later ERS) were scheduled for Sunday. Members with Sunday wristbands stayed and continued riding. Those like me without Sunday wristbands left and went straight home (perhaps stopping at another park en route) or visited other Blackpool attractions. Initially I stayed in the Pleasure Beach talking to Nev, Alan Chilvers and a few other members outside the café near the fountains. I finally left Pleasure Beach for the last time approximately 12:30pm and collected my luggage from my hotel.

South Pier
Around 1pm I went on South Pier and had a jumbo chilli hot dog there. Whilst sitting down eating it I saw Nev and Christine walking towards the pier exit, I gave them a quick wave but we didn't get chance to talk. Having finished my hot dog I left the pier (I didn't go on any of the rides) and had a whippy ice cream from Pablo's ice cream kiosk. You've got to have an ice cream on a trip to Blackpool.

Blackpool Tower
Having finished my ice cream, I caught the next available tram from South Pier to Tower stop. Around 1:45pm I entered the Tower and looked at there is to see there. Being as I went up the Tower Eye last year I wasn't sure I really wanted to go up there again, so I considered other attractions. A circus was due to start at 2:30pm, but since it was due to finish at 4pm, and I had an Advance ticket for a train departing Blackpool North at 3:44pm, I couldn't possibly see the circus. I considered visiting the Blackpool Dungeon, one member of staff said I'd need to allow just over an hour to see it. One problem was taking my luggage into the Dungeon, I was initially told I might be able to have it put in store, but when I got to the Dungeon admission point, the person behind the desk said they weren't allowed to put visitors' luggage in store. So I gave the Dungeon a miss.

Eventually I decided to visit the Tower Eye for the second year running, taking all my luggage up there. When I bought my ticket I was given a panoramic view leaflet, with sights to look out for.

Tower Photo
Just after the Tower Eye admissions point, I stood by a green screen for a photo. I deliberately removed my outer layers of clothing to show my new RCCGB T-shirt, and left my luggage out of shot. The photographer liked my pose.

4D Film
The next stop was the small cinema for the five minute 4D film. Spectators were issued with 3D glasses and asked to stand, holding on to a rail to feel the best effect. Unlike last year, this time I was standing on the back (topmost) row. The film had some amazing features, e.g. zooming in on Blackpool and the Tower from outer space, the tower taking off like a pyrotechnic rocket (a computer graphic animation I suppose) and going down the first drop of Big One. All in all, an excellent short film. It's wonderful how they've made that film, presumably using a combination of video and computer graphics, but the Big One first drop descent was no match for the real thing. This time I noticed being squirted with water during the film, I'm not sure what the significance of that was. When the film ended spectators handed back their 3D spectacles upon leaving the cinema.

Flight Wing Photo
I then joined the back of a longish queue. Initially I thought it was the tower lift queue, but it was a queue to have another photo taken. Thankfully some were in groups of two or three, so that speeded things up a bit. When it was my turn I removed my outer layers to show just my new RCCGB T-shirt. With the green wall behind me, I had to stand on behind the red line marked on the green floor and hold my arms up. The photographer was impressed with my pose.

Top of the Tower
After that I queued to be taken in the lift to the enclosed observation deck of the Tower Eye. Having reached the top, I walked the entire length of the glass walk on the promenade / beach side; I even got someone to photograph me standing and sitting on the glass. From this level the views were breath-taking in all directions. Unfortunately, although it was sunny, it was a bit hazy. Nonetheless I took several photos in all directions. Also I tried to spot as many sights marked on the panoramic view leaflet as I could. Whereas I saw the Blackpool sights easily enough, it was impossible to see the distant ones, e.g. Anglesey, Preston, Manchester as it was so hazy. To see all the marked sights you really want a clear day. After a while I climbed the spiral stairs to another level, and looked out in all directions. On that level I saw another staircase which visitors could climb up, so I went up to the top of that staircase. I was now on the highest level open to the public, someone took my photo showing my RCCGB 25th anniversary T-shirt. There was one more spiral staircase leading upwards from this level, but its gate was locked. That must lead to another level not open to the public, but I'm not sure what. Finally I went down the descent staircase, followed by the spiral staircase to the enclosed observation deck level.

Once there, time was going on, and there was a queue for the lift. I was unable to get on the first lift, so I had to wait a few minutes longer for the lift to return to the top again, whilst getting concerned about returning to Blackpool North in time for the 15:44 train to Manchester Piccadilly! Thankfully at 15:14 the lift car was back and I was able to get in to begin my descent. Three minutes later I was back on level 6 of the building. Passing through the gift shop I looked at my two photos. Although I liked both of them, I resisted the temptation to buy either as they were £8 each or £14 for both, which I felt would be a waste of money. Without further ado I descended the stairs to level 1.

Journey Home
Having left the Tower through the back exit at 3:20pm I hurriedly walked straight back to Blackpool North. I was unsure of the quickest way, but I asked the way a couple of times, and also saw some signs along the way. Eventually I saw Wilkinson, and from this point onwards knew the rest of the way. I finally reached the station concourse at 3:32pm. I now had 12 minutes to get on the 15:44 train to Manchester Piccadilly. My Advance ticket for the aforementioned train was for Blackpool North to Bristol Temple Meads, therefore I had to buy an extra ticket for Bristol Temple Meads to Bath Spa to complete my journey. Thankfully the Northern Rail staff at Blackpool North ticket office were able to sell me the ticket for that out-of-area journey. Without further ado I went through the ticket barrier and just had time to buy a takeaway coffee.

The 15:44 Manchester Airport train left Blackpool North on time, but got to Manchester Piccadilly late; it arrived platform 14 at 17:05. That meant I had just two minutes to transfer to the 17:07 Plymouth train, which was due to depart from the main part of the station. Fortunately I gathered all my stuff together and stood by the door as the train neared Piccadilly. Having stepped on to platform 14, I ran like mad up the stairs, over one bridge and took a right turn. In a state of panic I asked which platform it was for the 17:07 Plymouth train, and continued running until and down the staircase to platform 7. The train was still there, I got on the first passenger door I could find and asked the train manager if this was the 17:07 to Bristol Temple Meads. It was, thank goodness for that! I then found my seat, settled down and enjoyed a relaxing journey to Bristol Temple Meads, with no further problems. Having reached Bristol Temple Meads at 20:13 I had plenty of time to transfer to the 20:30 train to Bath Spa. I finally reached Bath at 20:42, and after that went to McDonalds Southgate Bath for a Big Mac and fries, followed by a toffee sundae. I finally reached home around 9:45pm.

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Outro

Highlights
Meeting members I'd met on previous Club trips again (including Andy and Christine Hine, Alan Chilvers, Barry, Brian, Death, Mark Blundell, Matt Walker, Mary and Andy Knight, Planenut, Ryan Hackett, Wendy Evans and the Eddy family).
Meeting Peter O'Brien, Lauren and Aidan (Saturday evening) and Adey, Kellie and Katelyn (Sunday just before ERS) whom I don't recall seeing on previous RCCGB trips.
ERSs on Revolution, Steeplechase, Big One, Grand National, Big Dipper and Infusion.
Quite a high ride count Saturday (during ERSs and normal time).
Riding all five wooden coasters (including both lift hills of Grand National) Saturday for the first time ever.
Two nights of entertainment, plus dancing in the disco Saturday evening.
Performing "Hard Rock Hallelujah" (Lordi) with Brian, Tom and Death Saturday evening (my first ever billed act).
Getting 9 goes on Infusion during the Sunday morning ERS, thereby beating my previous personal records for most goes straight off on that particular coaster, and most goes on any coaster in one ERS.
The Blackpool Tower Eye: 4D film and visiting the top of the Tower.

Lowlights
Problems with Big One Saturday which meant I only got one go on it all day (near the end of our ERS).
Big Dipper getting stuck part way through our Sunday morning ERS, fortunately I had one go on it right at the start of the ERS before it got stuck.
Stressful rush from platform 14 to platform 7 at Manchester Piccadilly Sunday late afternoon to transfer to the 17:07 Plymouth train in just two minutes.

Summing Up
Another mega excellent weekend away, my sixth Blackpool Bash to-date. It was great riding the Big One (albeit once only), Grand National, Infusion and other rides again, and catching up with other members (both those I've met before, and ones I don't previously recall seeing). Thanks a million to Andy Hine for all the effort involved in organising a trip of this nature. At the Blackpool Bash, the ERSs and other riding are only part of the fun. The other major chunk of the fun includes the Friday evening entertainment, Saturday lunch and Saturday evening Coaster Crazy Show and disco. Better still I performed a billed act for the first time ever on Saturday evening, an achievement I feel proud of. The upshot of that was it seemed strange just watching the Gong Show for the first time since 2008, having been in it the interim four years. Never mind, I hope to be back in the Gong Show next year with something some might see as a cack act. No wonder Nev says in the Blackpool Bash invite "If you can only make one Club trip this year, make it this one".

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Friday, 12 April 2013

Nemesis Nick at Sandcastle Water Park Blackpool April 2013

Date: Friday 5 April 2013
Venue: Sandcastle Water Park (Blackpool)
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip
As some of you may have gathered, I enjoy water parks, including Splashdown at Tower Park, Poole. Having travelled to Blackpool the afternoon of Thursday 4 April for the RCCGB Blackpool Bash 2013, Friday daytime was an ideal opportunity for me to visit Blackpool's Sandcastle Water Park.

Welcome to Sandcastle Water Park
Just like Pleasure Beach Resort the rest of the weekend, it was only a short walk from the hotel where I stayed to Sandcastle Water Park. When I reached the foyer at 10:53am I met Balula the monkey, and had my photo taken with her. At the reception I paid the extra £6 for a Hyperzone wristband, which covers the Master Blaster, Sidewinder, Montazooma and Aztec Falls.

In the Pool Area
Once past the foyer, bar and changing rooms, the water park itself is vast. Since I previously went there in April 2010, April 2011 and April 2012, I remembered the layout quite well. When I entered the pool area approximately 11:15, I began with the Sidewinder.

Sidewinder
One of the four Hyperzone slides, this requires use of a tyre. I faced a queue for the tyre, and another queue for the launch point at the top. When it was my turn I sat in my tyre on the launch platform, waiting to be pushed over the edge. There's a very steep drop (a long way down) into a ravine. Following the first drop, you go quite a long way up the other side, then down and back up the side you first came down, and so forth until you run out of momentum and grind to a halt at the bottom of the ravine, before exiting. Wow! Going back and forth made for a thrilling ride.

When I finally left the Sidewinder, the queue for tyres at the bottom wasn't too long, so I decided to have a second go. Obviously that meant queuing for a tyre at the bottom, and again at the top, but it was definitely worth the wait. At the end of my second go on Sidewinder I headed for Master Blaster.

Master Blaster
Another Hyperzone slide, also requiring use of a tyre. When I passed the landing point there was no queue for tyres, but there was a queue for the launch point, which tailed back almost to the bridge. Master Blaster is 250 metres in length and seems to go on for ever; there are several uphill sections. Part way along you go through a tube slide, which exits the building, spirals around and re-enters the building. That's the blue spiral tube you can see sticking out of the left front corner of the building. Towards the end there's a final climb and a very steep final drop into the landing tray. Altogether a thrilling ride, one of the best in the water park, and worth the wait.

When I landed I decided to have a second go. This time I faced a short queue for a tyre, and quite a lengthy queue for the launch point (tailing back on to the bridge). To make matters worse, as I neared the steps, someone got stuck which meant turning off the water supply for a bit, and consequently a substantial delay. Once everyone trapped in there was out the slide restarted, and soon afterwards I was at the launch point. At the end of my second go I left the Master Blaster to go on something else.

The launch point for Master Blaster has a label on its side with the following information:
Aqua Leisure International
Master Blaster Ride
Commissioned April 2006

One important question: the Master Blaster is described as a rollercoaster water slide, in fact it claims to be the world's longest indoor rollercoaster water slide, but does that mean it's a rollercoaster or not?

Montazooma
One of the two new Hyperzone slides which opened in February 2012. This slide requires a special mat with handles and a curved front. The queue for such mats was quite short. Having queued for a mat, I had to go up some steps, into a tunnel which had some special effect at the entrance, through the tunnel and up several flights of stairs to the top of a tower which was built when the Montazooma and Aztec Falls slides were installed. As I neared the top, there were two queues: one for Montazooma and one for Aztec Falls. The Montazooma queue was considerably shorter than the Aztec Falls queue, but still fairly long. When I reached the launch point I had to place the special mat, curved end facing forwards, on the slide top and lie on the mat head first on my belly, holding the handles at the curved end. Once launched I set off really quickly, and continued quite fast all the way to the end. A fun slide, but I had just one go for now.

Aztec Falls
The other new Hyperzone slide which opened in February 2012; this requires use of a tyre. There was quite a long wait for a tyre, I dread to think how long I queued for one. After that I had to go through the same tunnel and up the same stairs as I did for Montazooma, until I joined the back of the long Aztec Falls queue (which was considerably further down the stairs than the back of the Montazooma queue). After another lengthy wait, it was my turn to slide; I had to sit on my tyre (just like Master Blaster and Sidewinder). This was so amazing, I went down a dark closed tube slide. Halfway down I entered a giant bowl, and was whirled at speed once around the outer edge, followed by once around the inner edge into another dark tube slide which took me the rest of the way to the slide exit. Another exciting ride, definitely worth waiting for. Due to the long wait both for tyres at the bottom and the launch point at the top, I only had one go on Aztec Falls for now, but thankfully this wasn't my last.

After that, I tried some of the non-Hyperzone slides, starting with Thunder Falls.

Thunder Falls Waterslides
Two water slides, one is blue and one is yellow. These are mostly open top, however there's a short covered bit on the yellow slide midway. The queue extended most of the way down the spiral stairs, so for now I enjoyed the blue and yellow slides once each.

Sidewinder
Back to the Hyperzone slide Sidewinder for another two goes. On both goes I had to wait for a tyre, and faced an even longer queue at the top, but both goes were definitely worth the wait for the thrill of the steep drop, going up the opposite side followed by successive down-up-down cycles.

Treetops Water Chutes
A set of three wavy slides side by side, thus three sliders can race each other. Looking from the top, the left hand slide is blue, the centre one is yellow and the right hand one is red. These were made by Aqua Leisure International, commissioned 2004. Unlike the slides I'd been on so far, the Treetops Water Chutes were walk-on. I enjoyed these three wavy slides twice each in the following order: blue, yellow, red, blue, yellow, red.

Duelling Dragons
Two fast closed tube slides, which are classed as White Knuckle Slides, but they're not part of Hyperzone. The queuing time for these slides was shorter than most of what I'd already been on, I enjoyed the left and right slides (as viewed facing the entrances from the top) in sequence four times over. These two slides were really fast, and the duration of each slide was quite short.

Thunder Falls Waterslides
Back to the Thunder Falls Waterslides. Although the queue was shorter than earlier, it still extended about two thirds of the way down the spiral stairs. The Thunder Falls Waterslides are much slower and longer than the Duelling Dragons. Thus both Thunder Falls Waterslides give long, gentle, relaxing rides. I enjoyed the blue and yellow slides in sequence twice over.

Aztec Falls
Back to the Hyperzone slide Aztec Falls. The queue at the bottom for tyres was shorter than earlier, so now seemed a good time to have my second go for today on this. Once I had a tyre, there was still quite a lengthy wait for the launch point at the top of the tower. When it was my turn I sat on my tyre, and enjoyed another go down the dark tube slide, into the giant bowl and on down the following closed dark tube slide to the end. This was my final go on Aztec Falls for today.

Montazooma
Having left Aztec Falls, I saw a load of Montazooma mats. No-one was waiting for one, so the lifeguard said I could just take one. There was a queue for the launch point at the top of the tower, albeit not as long as earlier. After my first go, I saw more unused Montazooma mats and nobody waiting for one, so I was allowed to keep my mat for a second go. Once again I had to queue for the Montazooma launch point, albeit not quite as long this time. There were even more vacant mats which no-one was waiting for after my second go, so I was allowed to keep my mat for a third go. The queue for the Montazooma launch point at the top of the stairs was even shorter this time. It seemed not many people wanted to slide Montazooma now. Anyway I thoroughly enjoyed these three goes on Montazooma, each one was a really fast ride start to finish. Having decided three goes was enough, I gave my mat up voluntarily after my third go (there were still plenty of vacant mats and no-one waiting for them).

Duelling Dragons
The time was now around 4:30pm, and for some mysterious reason the whole water park seemed considerably quieter than earlier. I returned to the Duelling Dragons for a few more goes, and ended up sliding the left and right slides (as viewed facing the slide entrances from the top) in sequence six times over. These were now very quiet, at worst just a few people in front at the top of the stairs and walk-on for some of my goes.

Ushi-Gushi River Creek
A flowing river running anticlockwise. I enjoyed four laps of this river run; I tried swimming breaststroke although the river run was a bit busy to swim properly.

Thunder Falls Waterslides
There was now just a very short queue at the top of stairs for these two slides. I enjoyed the blue and yellow slides once each (my final goes on these slides for today).

Sidewinder
My final four goes of the day on this Hyperzone slide. The wait for tyres was now very short; after two of my goes I was allowed to keep my tyre. Furthermore the queue at the top was now considerably shorter than earlier.

Master Blaster
The time was now just after 5:40pm, so I tried to have as many goes on Master Blaster as I could before the water park closed at 6pm. In that remaining time I was able to enjoy six goes on Master Blaster. Each time around there was no queue for tyres by the landing; therefore I was able to help myself to one for my first go and keep my tyre for all my remaining goes. The wait at the top varied each time; on two of my goes the slide was walk-on, at worst there were four in front of me. It was definitely worth staying until closing time to get six goes on this rollercoaster water slide at the end; a coaster crazy way to round off my day at Sandcastle Water Park.

After that it was closing time of 6pm, so I left the pool area. Just as I was walking back to the changing room I heard an announcement "The slides and pool are now closed". I finally left the water park at 6:13pm and returned to my hotel to prepare for the evening.

One other feature which I missed is the Caribbean Storm Treehouse. This is a play area with a number of features, including water jets you can aim at other bathers, and a giant coconut which gradually fills and tips to spill its contents over you. Although I walked near / through this area from time to time, I didn't actually stand under the coconut or aim the jets this time.

Summary of my day in order of activity
Sidewinder 2
Master Blaster 2
Montazooma 1
Aztec Falls 1
Thunder Falls Waterslides: blue 1, yellow 1
Sidewinder 2
Treetops Water Chutes: blue 1, yellow 1, red 1, blue 1, yellow 1, red 1
Duelling Dragons left 1, right 1 (as viewed from top) in sequence 4 times over
Thunder Falls Waterslides: blue 1, yellow 1, blue 1, yellow 1
Aztec Falls 1
Montazooma 3
Duelling Dragons left 1, right 1 (as viewed from top) in sequence 6 times over
Ushi-Gushi River Creek 4 laps
Thunder Falls Waterslides blue 1, yellow 1
Sidewinder 4
Master Blaster 6

Cumulative Summary of Slides

Slide
Total
Aztec Falls
2
Master Blaster
8
Montazooma
4
Sidewinder
8
Duelling Dragons: left slide entrance
10
Duelling Dragons: right slide entrance
10
Thunder Falls Waterslides: blue
4
Thunder Falls Waterslides: yellow
4
Treetops Water Chutes: blue
2
Treetops Water Chutes: yellow
2
Treetops Water Chutes: red
2
TOTAL
56

Total 56 slides, plus 4 laps of Ushi-Gushi River Creek

Outro

Highlights
High slide count, considering how busy the place was for most of the day.
Re-riding the thrilling Hyperzone slides Sidewinder, Master Blaster, Montazooma and Aztec Falls, plus other slides.
Six goes on Master Blaster at the end of the day.

Lowlights
The place was busier than I'd have liked for most of the day.

Summing Up
Wow, a mega fun visit to the UK's largest indoor water park. By staying in all day, I certainly got my money's worth. Once again I managed to stay in until 6pm without eating or drinking anything. My big breakfast around 9am set me up for the whole day. If you've not yet been there, and you enjoy water parks, I strongly suggest you pay it a visit. In order to get your money's worth, I recommend staying in all day. Going in after the ERS on Sunday of the Blackpool Bash (i.e. around midday) may not give you sufficient time to do Sandcastle Water Park justice. Once again for most of the day the place was a bit busy for my liking, partly due to it being the Easter school holiday, it seemed busier than my 2011 visit which was also in the Easter school holiday. The opening of Aztec Falls and Montazooma in February 2012 has clearly made the whole place more popular. Despite the large number of other visitors in the water park, I don't recall seeing anyone else from the RCCGB in there. Being as this was the Blackpool Bash weekend, I'd have thought a few other members who had arrived Thursday evening or Friday early morning for the Blackpool Bash would have taken the opportunity to spend Friday daytime at Sandcastle Water Park, especially riding the Master Blaster rollercoaster water slide.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Nemesis Nick's Inter-Coaster Season Fun 2012/2013

My solo visit to Funland, Hayling Island on Saturday 27 October 2012 was my send-off to the 2012 coaster season. Now it's almost time for the RCCGB Blackpool Bash 2013, which will be my first coaster trip of 2013. Between the 2012 and 2013 coaster seasons, I've not been hibernating. Here are the out-of-season trips I've had from November 2012 to March 2013 inclusive.

To jump to individual trips, please click the appropriate link below.
Bath On Ice - Saturday 15 December 2012
Oasis Leisure Centre Swindon - Sunday 16 December 2012
Bournemouth Slide 'N' Skate - Saturday 29 December 2012
Cardiff International Pool - Saturday 5 January 2013
Skating At The BIC - Saturday 23 February 2013
Poole Bowl 'N' Skate - Saturday 30 March 2013

Enjoy reading as many of the following six trip reports as you wish.

Bath On Ice - Saturday 15 December 2012

Date: Saturday 15 December 2012
Venue: Temporary ice rink at Royal Victoria Park, Bath
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip
A temporary outdoor ice rink was on at Royal Victoria Park, Bath during December 2012, and it proved quite popular. I was keen to give it a try and the afternoon of Saturday 15 December 2012 was a convenient time for me to go.

My Chosen Skating Session
This was my first ever time of going ice skating on an open-air ice rink. Whilst the action of skating on ice was just the same as on an indoor rink, the fact that it was outdoors gave a different feeling to skating indoors. I chose a late afternoon session which began whilst it was still daylight and the setting sun could be seen. During the hour that I was on the ice daylight turned to dusk. At dusk the rink was illuminated by lights that changed colour, and Christmas music was being played to add to the atmosphere. The rink was busy, which limited the amount of space available to anyone. Furthermore the rink was smaller than some indoor rinks I've been on in the past, but it was still great fun. I remained upright for the whole hour. An Ice Marshall tried taking photos of everyone on the ice. At the end of the session everyone was asked to leave the ice and return their skates. I chose not to buy the photo that I was in.

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Oasis Leisure Centre Swindon - Sunday 16 December 2012

Date: Sunday 16 December 2012
Venue: Oasis Leisure Centre Swindon
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip
Oasis Leisure Centre, Swindon has had water slides for several years. Considering I've lived in Bath since 1996, and Swindon is just half an hour away on a High Speed Train, one might have thought I'd have gone there several times by now. Not so! At the start of December 2012, I had still never been to the Oasis Leisure Centre, Swindon, although for the last couple of years I've been meaning to go water sliding there. I was determined to go there some time in December 2012, and Sunday 16 December 2012 happened to be a convenient day for me to go.

Getting To Swindon
The outing began when I caught the 11:43 train from Bath Spa to Swindon. Having reached Swindon about half an hour later, the Oasis Leisure Centre was about 10 minutes' walk away.

Oasis Leisure Centre
The leisure pool, known as the Lagoon Pool, claims to be Swindon's premier fun pool. This pool includes a wave machine. In order to have as many slides as possible, I didn't go in the Lagoon Pool at all.

In addition to the Lagoon Pool itself there are also the following water slides.

Sidewinder
This blue slide is a closed tube all the way down. It is snake themed, and the easiest of the three but still great fun.

Great White
A wide white closed tube all the way down. This slide is shark themed, and more thrilling than Sidewinder.

Storm
This narrow tube slide is black all the way down. It starts with a pitch dark clockwise spiral. Mid way there's a straight bit with a strip lighting effect. The rest of the slide is another pitch dark clockwise spiral, before you finally exit into the landing pool. I found out that this slide was new; it replaced an old slide in the same spot which was called Screamer.

Sidewinder, Great White and Storm are known as the Domebuster Flumes. To access them you go up a staircase enclosed within a tall tower.

Lagoon Falls
This slide is located under the main dome and above the Lagoon Pool. Therefore you have to go up a separate staircase to access this slide. The slide is open-topped all the way down and gives a slow, gentle ride. Shortly after the start there is a bend to the left, followed by a bend to the right and another bend to the left. Finally there's a clockwise spiral (one circle) before you land in the catch tray.

I entered the pool area at 12:50. Knowing I would only get an hour in there, my initial concern was how many or few slides there would be time for in that hour, so I headed straight for the Domebuster Flumes. Thankfully Sidewinder, Great White and Storm were all surprisingly quiet throughout my session, presumably due to many people being preoccupied with Christmas shopping in the town centre.

My session began with two goes on Sidewinder. Next I had four goes on Great White followed by eight goes on Storm. After that I had another four goes on Sidewinder; although this was the mildest of the three tower flumes I wanted to increase my count on it. Next I had four more goes on Great White.

At this point I left the Domebuster Flumes to try the Lagoon Falls slide above the main pool. This open top slide was busier than the other three slides, so for now I limited myself to one go. I returned to the main tower for two goes on Great White, two goes on Sidewinder and yet another two goes on Great White. Finally there was just time for me to enjoy three goes on Lagoon Falls before my session officially ended at 2pm. Thus I actually had just over an hour in there.

Summary of my sliding in actual order:
Sidewinder 2
Great White 4
Storm 8
Sidewinder 4
Great White 4
Lagoon Falls 1
Great White 2
Sidewinder 2
Great White 2
Lagoon Falls 3

Cumulative Summary of Slides

Slide
Total
Great White
12
Lagoon Falls
4
Sidewinder
8
Storm
8
TOTAL
32

Oasis Café
Having left the pool area and dressed, I went to the Oasis Café for a much-needed latte coffee before I left the Oasis Leisure Centre.

Remaining Time In Swindon
Having left the Oasis Leisure Centre, I went for a walk around the town centre for about an hour or so. There happened to be a Christmas funfair on there, so whilst I was on my way back to the station I went into the funfair and decided to ride the Phantom Chaser.

Phantom Chaser
A ghost train. The train began by climbing a hill and working its way gradually downwards. Being as its track goes uphill and downhill, some may class this as a coaster. Anyway, being a ghost train it was spooky along the way. I limited myself to just one go.

Journey Home
When the ride ended I headed straight back to the station, whereupon I caught the 16:11 train from Swindon to Bath Spa. The train ran on time and took about half an hour to reach Bath.

Outro

Highlights
Sliding the water slides Sidewinder, Great White, Storm and Lagoon Falls for the first time ever.
Sidewinder, Great White and Storm really quiet, often walk-on and at worst two in front.
High slide count for the time I was in there.
Riding the ghost train Phantom Chaser at the Christmas Funfair.

Lowlights
Having just over an hour in the Lagoon Pool, it would have been nice if the session had been longer.

Summing Up
Altogether a fun afternoon out. It's always extra fun going to a water slide complex and trying out the slides for the first time ever. That said, it's a pity I didn't go there two or three years ago whilst the Screamer slide was still there, so that I could have gone down that slide as well as Sidewinder, Great White and Lagoon Falls. By waiting until December 2012 to go there for the first time ever, I had the satisfaction of sliding a new slide Storm, but now I'll never get the chance to slide Screamer. My one ride on Phantom Chaser was an unexpected additional treat to round off the trip.

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Bournemouth Slide 'N' Skate - Saturday 29 December 2012

Date: Saturday 29 December 2012
Venue: Littledown Centre, Lower Gardens Ice Rink
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip
Back in July 2012 I was intending to go to the Littledown Centre, Bournemouth to enjoy its water slides. In fact that was my original plan for Saturday 21 July 2012, but due to my getting ready and setting off later than expected, I ended up going to Splashdown, Tower Park, Poole that day, which in hindsight was a better choice for that day. Nonetheless a visit to Littledown Centre Bournemouth remained on my list of things to do since July, but for various reasons still hadn't materialised by Christmas. Therefore I was determined to go there over Christmas 2012.

Furthermore the temporary ice rink which has been a popular attraction at the Bournemouth International Centre (BIC) over Christmas for several years now was back there for Christmas 2012. In addition there was an outdoor ice rink in the Lower Gardens, Bournemouth during Christmas 2012. Obviously that would give me a choice of rinks for once (I would skate on one or the other), but my initial preference before setting off was to skate at the BIC indoor rink. With an early start and good timekeeping I could easily go water sliding at the Littledown Centre and ice skating at one of the two temporary rinks in a single day.

Getting To Bournemouth
In some ways this was a bad day to go from Dorchester to Bournemouth by train as there was the added inconvenience of a rail replacement bus service between Poole and Bournemouth due to engineering. Never mind, that didn't put me off going. After an early rise I caught the 8:46 train from Dorchester South to Poole followed by the onward 9:25 rail replacement bus to Bournemouth.

Having reached Bournemouth railway station at 9:47, I walked to a nearby bus stop to catch a local bus to the Littledown Centre.

Littledown Centre
The Littledown Centre is a leisure centre on the outskirts of Bournemouth. Its facilities include a 25 metre rectangular swimming pool, learner pool and two water slides:

Yellow slide (slow)
This takes you around a clockwise u-bend, along a straight bit, around another clockwise u-bend and another, straight bit. Finally there's a clockwise spiral (dark towards the end), and you land in a small landing pool.

Green slide (fast)
This starts with a steep drop (not vertical), followed by a clockwise spiral (dark), bend to left, and you land in a small landing pool.

I arrived at the Littledown Centre around 10:30am. The receptionist pointed out to me that when the pool opened at 11am, it was going to be a Wet and Wacky session until 12:30. This session was clearly aimed more at families as inflatables were in the pool, making serious swimming difficult if not impossible. I stated that my plan was to have as many goes as possible on the two water slides.

Once admitted, time allowed for me to have a coffee at the Littledown Café before getting changed just before 11:00. From the café I could see the inflatables being put into the pool ready for the Wet and Wacky session.

I was in the pool area from 11:06 to 12:42, i.e. just over one and a half hours. In that time I enjoyed a total of 20 goes on the yellow slide and 24 goes on the green slide. By the time I was about to leave, the Wet and Wacky session was over and lanes were in place, which therefore allowed me to swim one length of the main pool deep to shallow before leaving the pool area.

Summary of my sliding in actual order:
Yellow Flume 4
Green Flume 4
Yellow Flume 4
Green Flume 8
Yellow Flume 4
Green Flume 8
Yellow Flume 8
Green Flume 4

Cumulative Summary of Slides

Slide
Total
Green Flume
24
Yellow Flume
20
TOTAL
44

Lunch at Littledown Café
After leaving the pool area I went to the Littledown Café for a light lunch.

Mid Afternoon Problems
Having left the Littledown Centre I didn't have long to wait for the next available bus to the sea front. Without further ado I headed straight for the BIC. Although realistically I was now hoping to get into the ice skating session that was due to start at 4pm, I wanted to see if there was any chance (however remote) of getting into the session that was imminent (due to start around 2:15pm). The first hiccup of the day arose at the BIC box office: due to a technical fault the 2:15pm skating session was cancelled due to a technical problem.

The staff were uncertain when, if at all, the Purbeck Hall rink would reopen; the earliest possibility was now the 5:30pm session. However that was currently very much a maybe and no guarantee could be given of it opening at that time, which is why they were unwilling to sell tickets for that session. I asked if it would be worth hanging on for that session, bearing in mind a) if it did go ahead, I would be leaving around 7pm and it would be quite late when I'd get back to Dorchester, and b) I'd have to kill three hours in the meantime. They suggested phoning around 5pm to enquire whether the 5:30pm session would be running or not; if it too had to be cancelled I'd then begin my journey back to Dorchester, with the feeling of having wasted the afternoon. Meanwhile they suggested looking at the outdoor rink in the Lower Gardens, which was just a short walk away.

When I got to the Lower Gardens ice rink, the 2:15pm skating session was sold out and underway. The 4pm session was currently hanging in the balance, an ice assessment at the end of the current session would determine whether or not the 4pm session could go ahead. If it did go ahead the number of skaters would be limited to 50, and due to some having already booked, there would only be 25 unreserved tickets available. Unwilling to sell me a ticket now, the lady suggested I come back at 3:30pm to a) find out if the 4pm session was on, and b) if so, be one of the first there and thus maximise my chance of getting a ticket. To fill time, I went to Subway in the town centre for a for a coffee.

Lower Gardens Ice Skating
At 3:30pm I returned to the outdoor ice rink in Lower Gardens. The 4pm session was now definitely going ahead, and there were currently plenty of unreserved tickets available for that session, so I decided to go to that. At least I now knew I'd be going ice skating at 4pm, which would be more convenient for me than 5:30; anyway there was still no guarantee the 5:30 session would take place at the BIC. An added bonus, the rain had now stopped and the setting sun was now out. Although skates were issued at 4pm, the actual time on the ice was 4:15 to 5:15, i.e. one hour.

At 4:15pm skaters were allowed on to the ice. Being as I was going ice skating, it seemed appropriate for me to wear my fluorescent yellow cagoule with Skatedrive on it. It's a wonder that didn't cause confusion with the Ice Marshalls who themselves were wearing fluorescent yellow jackets, but they said that was no problem. Skating in the open air as dusk turned to darkness was extra satisfying and a welcome change from skating at the BIC in previous years, despite the Lower Gardens rink being considerably smaller than the BIC ice rink has ever been. During the hour I was on the ice continuously and had no falls. Furthermore it stayed dry in that time. At 5:15pm there was an announcement that the session was over and everyone must leave the ice and return their skates. Probably just as well as far as I was concerned, my legs were beginning to ache a bit.

Danter's Funfair
Danter's Funfair was on at the Pier Approach during Christmas 2012, and the rides were still operating after dark. I treated myself to one go on Freak-Out, my final ride for 2012. The ride experience on this swinging, spinning ride was no different to when I rode it previous years. Although fun, one go was enough; no way could I have stuck two goes. I asked if this is the same Freak-Out as was here Christmas 2011, and previous years. It is as Danter's Funfair has only this one Freak-Out; they've had it since 2003.

Remaining Time In Bournemouth
Out of curiosity I called into the BIC box office to find out whether or not the 5:30pm Purbeck Hall ice skating session was running. Obviously if it was I would not now be skating there as I'd already gone skating on the Lower Gardens outdoor ice rink. The problem had been solved and the 5:30pm session was now running in the Purbeck Hall. In fact it was sorted out just before 4pm and thus they were able to run the 4pm session; however they could not start selling tickets for that until 3:55pm. I explained that, following their earlier advice, I checked out the Lower Gardens ice rink and turned up at 3:30pm for the 4pm session to ensure I got a ticket for that session; I didn't want to pop around to the BIC on the off-chance the Purbeck Hall rink might be back in action. The people in the BIC box office said I did the right thing going to the 4pm outdoor rink session rather than chancing my luck with the BIC Purbeck Hall rink.

Back in the town centre, I went to Subway for another cup of coffee before returning to the railway station by bus.

Journey Home
I got to Bournemouth railway station just in time for the 18:29 rail replacement bus to Poole, whereupon I caught the onward 19:02 train to Dorchester South.

Outro

Highlights
Sliding the yellow and green water slides at the Littledown Centre for over one and a half hours.
High slide count there in that time.
Ice skating on the Lower Gardens open-air ice rink.

Lowlights
Added inconvenience of the rail replacement buses between Poole and Bournemouth.
Getting to the BIC and discovering ice skating was cancelled until further notice due to a technical problem.
Uncertainty as to whether or not the 4pm session on the Lower Gardens outdoor ice rink would go ahead when I first got there

Summing Up
Altogether a great day out, my final time of going water sliding or ice skating anywhere for 2012. The yellow and green slides at the Littledown Centre may not be the best water slides I've been down during 2012, but they were better than some water slides I have ever experienced. The waiting time for them varied, but there were never more than about five people in front, and thus I achieved a high slide count on them in just over one and a half hours. It's a pity the 2:15pm ice skating session at the BIC Purbeck Hall had to be cancelled due to technical problems and they weren't able to guarantee it opening again in time for even the 5:30pm session at the time. Thankfully the 4pm skating session on the Lower Gardens open-air ice rink went ahead (despite that too hanging in the balance around 2:30pm) and I was thus able to enjoy ice skating after all. Although the Lower Gardens ice rink was smaller than the BIC Purbeck Hall rink has ever been, it was a new experience skating in the open air in Lower Gardens as dusk turned to darkness. That in itself added to the fun. My one go on Danter's Freak-Out, which turned out to be my final funfair ride anywhere for 2012, provided the finishing touch to a fun day.

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Cardiff International Pool - Saturday 5 January 2013

Date: Saturday 5 January 2013
Venue: Cardiff International Pool
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip
Having begun 2011 and 2012 with a visit to Cardiff International Pool to enjoy the fun pool and water slides, I was equally keen to begin 2013 with another visit there. This was, in fact, my fourth visit to Cardiff International Pool to-date; my previous three visits there were 19 December 2009, 8 January 2011 and 7 January 2012.

Getting To Cardiff
I got up fairly early in order to catch the 08:30 train from Bath Spa to Cardiff Central. Having reached Cardiff, I caught a bus to the Sports Village.

Cardiff International Pool
Cardiff International Pool is located at the Sports Village. I finally got there around 10:30am and entered the pool area at 10:50. Being my fourth visit to-date, the place was already familiar to me.

The leisure pool area has the following features:

Red flume
Starts by taking sliders around a bend to the left, into a clockwise spiral. This is followed by an anticlockwise spiral, and you land in catch tray. Slow.

Orange flume
This begins with an anticlockwise spiral, followed by a clockwise u-bend, to land in a catch tray. Faster.

Yellow flume
Starts with a bend to the right, into an anticlockwise spiral, and finally a straight drop (fairly steep but not vertical), landing in catch tray. Faster still.

The above three flumes are closed tubes all the way down. They don't have names, unlike the flumes at Oasis Leisure Centre Swindon or Splashdown Poole.

Space Bowl (blue)
A short flume takes you round an anticlockwise loop into space bowl. After whirling around, you fall into a 2.5 metre deep landing pool, which you must swim out of as quickly as possible. For that reason you must be able to swim to be allowed on this.

Children's Play Structure
A multi-level play structure. This includes a short green water slide (closed tube), but that slide is for children only, just like the rest of the play structure.

Leisure Pool
This includes a river run.

There's no roller coaster water slide (as in the Master Blaster at certain other water parks I've visited), but then again, you can't have everything I suppose.

The slides were made by Aqua Leisure International, and commissioned in December 2007. Labels on the catch trays of the red, orange and yellow flumes show the following information:
Red flume: 850 Series Ride A
Orange flume: 850 Series Ride B
Yellow flume: 850 Series Ride C

I entered the leisure pool area at 10:50am and headed straight for the slides. Just like my January 2012 visit, the red, orange and yellow flumes, plus the space bowl, were all running right from the start. I was able to stay in as long as I wanted and remained in the pool area until 2:40pm. Initially the queues for the slides were really short, but as time went on they became longer, sometimes extending down the top flight of stairs.

As always, the lifeguard asked me if I can swim prior to my first go on the space bowl. I said I can swim, and had been on this space bowl on previous visits, as well as space bowls elsewhere. I suppose they have to ask everyone that question, no matter how many times they've used a space bowl anywhere before.

I'm still not sure which was my favourite of the red, orange and yellow slides, all were fun to slide. I found the space bowl particularly thrilling (just like other places where I've been on space bowls), but nonetheless didn't want to have more goes on it than any of the other slides. For ease of counting, I insisted on sliding them all round robin. During the time I was in there, I enjoyed the red flume, orange flume, yellow flume and space bowl in sequence ten times over. To finish off, I swam four laps of the river run before finally leaving the pool area around 2:40pm.

Cumulative Summary of Slides

Slide
Total
Red flume
10
Orange flume
10
Yellow flume
10
Space Bowl
10
TOTAL
40

Plus 4 laps of river run.

Mid Afternoon Snack
Having finally left Cardiff International Pool building just after 3pm, I went to Morrisons (which was just a short walk away) for a sandwich and coffee at their café.

Remaining Time In Cardiff
After leaving Morrisons I caught the bus back to Cardiff city centre. Whilst there I explored St David's Centre and Queen Street for an hour or so. Unlike my January 2012 visit to Cardiff International Pool, I resisted the temptation to end my day in Cardiff with an evening meal at Pizza Hut, in order to save money. However I did go to Krispy Kreme in St Davids Centre around 4:45pm for a doughnut and coffee.

Journey Home
At 5:22pm I was back at Cardiff Central station. From there I caught the 17:30 Portsmouth Harbour train, which arrived Bath Spa just over an hour later. A pleasant and relaxing journey to end the day out.

Outro

Highlights
Enjoying the red flume, orange flume, yellow flume and space bowl at Cardiff International Pool again.
Good slide count considering how long the queues were.
Doughnut and coffee at Krispy Kreme, St David's Centre, Cardiff.

Lowlights
Slide queues longer than I would have liked for a substantial part of my visit.

Summing Up
Altogether a fun day out, my first outing for 2013, and also my first time of going water sliding anywhere for 2013. It's a pity the place was busier than I than I'd have liked once again. Although my slide count was higher than my previous visit in January 2012, it was still considerably lower than my first ever visit there in December 2009. The coffee and doughnut at Krispy Kreme at St David's Centre was a delightful treat before catching my train home.

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Skating At The BIC - Saturday 23 February 2013

Date: Saturday 23 February 2013
Venue: Bournemouth International Centre
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip
The temporary ice rink which was on at the Bournemouth International Centre (BIC) Purbeck Hall during Christmas 2012 remained open there throughout January right up to the February 2013 half term holiday. The weekend of the 23 and 24 February 2013 was its final weekend of being open to the public there. Being as this was the last Saturday I could skate there I really wanted to go.

Getting To Bournemouth
Travelling from Dorchester to Bournemouth was quicker and easier than my previous visit to Bournemouth on Saturday 29 December 2012 as trains were running normally this time. I caught the 9:13 train from Dorchester South to Bournemouth. Having reached Bournemouth at 9:54 I walked to the seafront

BIC Ice Skating
I got to the BIC box office (by the main entrance) around 10:30, and managed to get a ticket for the first session of the day starting at 11am. There was ample time for me to enjoy a regular Americano at The Terrace café at the BIC before walking around the outside of the building to a separate entrance for the Purbeck Hall where the temporary ice rink was located.

There were a few more minutes to wait in the lobby before going into the Purbeck Hall for skate issue. Although the session was billed as being one and a half hours long, that included fifteen minutes at the start and end for getting skates on and off. Thus the actual time on the ice was one hour from 11:15 to 12:15. I fearlessly stepped on the ice and went straight into open space. My time on the ice was continuous, and I had no falls in that time. At 12:15 it was time for everyone to leave the ice and return their skates.

Lunch at The Chippy
Having left the BIC, I walked into the town centre to have lunch at The Chippy. There I had medium cod and chips plus a coffee in the café area at the back. I chose to eat in on this occasion because it was way too cold to have a takeaway to eat outside.

Saturday Afternoon
After lunch I walked along the seafront from Bournemouth Pier to Toft Zig Zag. Although I mostly walked on the promenade, at one point I briefly walked along part of the beach. Next I walked up Toft Zig Zag path to the cliff top. Once there I walked along the cliff top back to Bournemouth Pier. Back in the town centre late afternoon I had a coffee at Debenhams Restaurant.

Journey Home
Having walked back to the Travel Interchange, I caught the 16:24 train to Dorchester South and arrived back just after 5pm.

Outro

Highlights
Ice skating on the BIC Purbeck Hall ice rink.
Fish and chip lunch at The Chippy

Lowlights
It was a bit cold for walking along the seafront and cliff top

Summing Up
Another great day out. My morning session of ice skating at the BIC was my first time of going ice skating anywhere for 2013. Although it was cold outside, it was dry all day with sunny spells. Walking along the seafront and back along the cliff top was pleasurable despite the cold. I must admit it did seem odd to be walking along the seafront on such a cold day, and thus having to wear a thick winter coat over other layers. Next time I fancy walking along Bournemouth seafront, I'd like to go on a sunny day in the summer on which it's hot enough for just a T-shirt and shorts, the way it should be.

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Poole Bowl 'N' Skate - Saturday 30 March 2013

Date: Saturday 30 March 2013
Venue: Bowlplex at Tower Park Poole, Central Park Ice Rink at Poole Park
Who Went: Me and Ann (my aunt)

Rationale For Trip
It must be said this was really a last minute replacement for what I really wanted to do. My original plan for the day was to catch an early morning train from Dorchester South to Basingstoke, and go water sliding at the Aquadrome Lagoon followed by ice skating at Planet Ice there, before returning to Dorchester by train in the evening. Unfortunately I was still recovering from a cold and chest infection which made water sliding anywhere inadvisable; in any case I didn't really feel like getting up around 6am to get ready and catch a train departing Dorchester South around 7:30am.

I suggested to Ann that we both go ten pin bowling at Bowlplex, Tower Park, Poole in the morning, then have some lunch and afterwards go to Poole Park for me to have a session of ice skating at Central Park Ice Rink. That way I would still go ice skating somewhere, and do ten-pin bowling instead of water sliding. We both agreed to this alternative plan. We set off around 10:30am and got to Tower Park just after 11am.

Bowlplex Tower Park, Poole
Bowlplex is a ten-pin bowling centre at Tower Park leisure complex on the outskirts of Poole. Other amenities at Tower Park include Gala Bingo, Splashdown water park, Lemur Landings Soft Play Centre (a kids' indoor play area formerly called Monkey-Bizness) and Empire multi-screen cinema, along with fast food restaurants KFC and Burger King.

Game 1
We turned up at Bowlplex having not pre-booked. Fortunately there was no delay in allocating us to a vacant lane, and we were allocated to lane 14. Having put our names in the game began. The game consisted of ten frames. Soon after the game began I noticed that the gutter guards were down, which is why we both had several balls go into the gutters thereby scoring no points. I tried my hardest best to aim towards the pins and avoid the gutters, nonetheless I ended up getting 10 out of 20 balls in the gutters. Ann did worse still, 13 out of 20 balls in the gutters. Consequently our final scores were both disappointingly low. Ann did manage a spare on frame 9, but being as she knocked nothing down on frame 10, still only got 10 points for frame 9. I scored no strikes or spares at all. My best score on an individual frame was 9 (8+1) on frame 5, though that was immediately followed by nothing on frame 6. Our final scores were Ann 40, me 50, thus I won this game.

At the end I suddenly found out we'd only paid for one game. I thought we'd paid for two. Anyway I returned to the pay desk to collect the score sheet.

Lunch
We decided to have lunch in the café at Bowlplex. Ann had a filled jacket potato, whereas I had a half pounder burger meal (which included chips and a fizzy drink).

Game 2
After lunch we both agreed to have a second game. This time I asked for the gutter guards to be raised at the time of payment. This time we were allocated to lane 6. When we got there, the gutter guards were still down. I thought an attendant would have to raise and lock them with a tool (just like when I went alone to AMF Bowling, Torquay last September). Anyway I put our names in on the terminal and the gutter guards raised themselves automatically. Once again the game consisted of ten frames. Alleviated of the problem of balls going into the gutters, we both did considerably better this time, we both scored points on every frame. Ann scored a spare on frame 7, followed by 6 on the first shot of frame 8, thus her total score for frame 7 ended up being 16 points. She didn't score any strikes though. Despite my efforts I scored no strikes or spares, my best scores this time were 9 (8+1) on frame 5 and 9 (3+6) on frame 9. The final scores were Ann 81, me 69; thus Ann won this game.

When this game ended, I collected the score sheet and we left Bowlplex. After that we moved on to Poole Park.

Central Park Ice Rink
Central Park is the name of a building in Poole Park. There are two parts to the building, one half (accessed through one entrance) is a children's soft play area. The other half (accessed via a separate entrance) contains a café and a small indoor ice rink. The small size of the rink makes it ideal for introducing young children to ice skating, especially as penguins are available for children to hold on to whilst learning to skate.

Coffee Time
I was booked in for the 2:30pm ice skating session. When we arrived there was about an hour to wait for that session. To fill time we both decided to have a coffee in the café, I also had a cake to go with my large filter coffee. Afterwards Ann decided to sit in the car during my skating session rather than watch me skate. There was still time for me to have one more small filter coffee before going on the ice.

My Skating Session
Around 2:20pm skaters booked on the 2:30pm were allowed into the room where the rink is located in order to be issued skates. Being as I was going ice skating, I also decided to wear my fluorescent yellow cagoule with Skatedrive on it. Fortunately that was no problem of confusion with the Ice Marshalls as they didn't wear fluorescent yellow here.

At 2:30 skaters were allowed on to the ice. There were quite a few others on the ice besides me. I quickly picked up speed and skated around and around. As time went on I tried a few brief moments of one-legged skating, but didn't have the confidence to skate on one leg for long. Obviously the small size of this rink made it seem like a goldfish bowl compared to the large ice rinks I've skated on at Bristol and Basingstoke in the past, but nonetheless I still enjoyed having the chance to skate. At 3:15 the session ended, and everyone was asked to leave the ice and return their skates. Thus the total time on the ice was 45 minutes, and I remained upright for that entire time, even my short spells of one-legged skating.

After Skating
Having returned to the café, I stayed little longer to enjoy a cappuccino coffee before returning to the car to begin the journey back to Dorchester.

Outro

Highlights
Two games of ten-pin bowling at Bowlplex, Tower Park.
Lunch at Bowlplex, Tower Park.
Ice skating at Central Park Ice Rink, Poole Park.

Lowlights
Disappointingly low scores and getting many balls in the gutters on the first game.

Summing Up
Altogether a fun day out to fill up Easter Saturday. Although it wasn't what I originally wanted to do that day, I still enjoyed what did happen. The ten-pin bowling was great fun, although our scores were disappointingly low on the first game due to the gutter guards being down, and hence many balls going into the gutters. Thankfully our performance on the second game after lunch was much better due to my request to have the guards raised. It's a pity we didn't pay for two games right at the start. Not only would it have worked out a couple of pounds cheaper than paying for them separately, but I've since noticed each score sheet has a statistics table, which includes high game and low game, along with a difference. Obviously this was 0 for both tables as we played two separate sessions of one game. By playing one session of two games, the statistics for two games would most likely have been combined and some interesting data such as the difference between the highest and lowest game would have emerged. My afternoon session of ice skating was also great fun. Although it was only 45 minutes long, whereas I would perhaps have spent about two hours on the ice had I gone to Planet Ice Basingstoke as originally intended, I think 45 minutes of skating was enough for me considering my state of health that day.

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And Finally
As you can see, I've had a few fun trips between November 2012 and March 2013. The good thing about indoor water parks like the Lagoon Pool at Oasis Leisure Centre Swindon and Cardiff International Pool is that you can go there to enjoy water sliding in the winter months when theme parks such as Thorpe Park and Alton Towers are closed for the winter.

As for going to Basingstoke for water sliding at the Aquadrome Lagoon and ice skating at Planet Ice, I hope to be able to do that during the first few weeks after the Blackpool Bash, and post a full report here afterwards.

In the meantime, see you at the Blackpool Bash Friday evening.

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Thursday, 21 March 2013

Red Nose Day 2003 to 2011

RED NOSE DAY 2003 - Friday 14 March 2003
Features
Various fund-raising events nationwide
Evening variety entertainment show on BBC1

Comments
"The Big Hair Do" was this year's slogan, with people being encouraged to do weird and wacky things to their hair as a fund-raising effort. Chose not to do anything silly with my hair. This year's red noses which featured a tuft of hair and a face were extremely uncomfortable to wear, so mine just stayed in its box! However did join in by donning this year's "RND 03" T-shirt. As for television coverage during the evening, not that brilliant really. What a shambles right at the start of the first half, they had a load of kids on the stage, and the presenter cancelled their performance following some sort of blunder. Several times a gospel choir sang a rather tacky "Thank you whoever" song when the amounts raised by firms such as Mr. Kipling and Littlewoods were announced. Whilst viewing the really late coverage on video two days later, couldn't even see a clear cut end. Perhaps the best bits were just before the beginnings of the two programmes when BBC1 showed one of their current idents followed by a spoof BBC1 ident. Congratulations though to all the fundraisers involved in raising the multi-million pound end-of-night total. A bottom-of-the bunch nul points contender here.

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RED NOSE DAY 2005 - Friday 11 March 2005
Features
Fundraising events around the UK
Harry Hill, Dick and Dom, Comic Relief Does Fame Academy, Little Little Britain
The Vicar of Dibley, Blind Date, Alan Partridge, Smith & Jones, Drunken Fame Academy
Comic Relief singles "It's All About You" (McFly ) and "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" (Peter Kay)

Comments
This year marked the tenth Red Nose Day. The first one took place way back in 1988, and since 1989 this has become a two-yearly event. Donned this year's RND 05 T-shirt, but didn't bother with a red nose, nor did I do anything silly with my hair as some did. As usual, BBC1 covered the event from 19:00 onwards that evening into the small hours of Saturday 12 March. Saw the show off-air until around midnight, and watched the remainder Saturday afternoon on video. The show opened with Jools Holland and R&B Orchestra. Jonathan Ross then appeared to present the show for the first three hours. What followed can best be described as mainly trash. Harry Hill's "TV Burp" and Dick and Dom 's "Pro-Celebrity Bogies", involving gunge throwing, were both a load of rubbish, in my opinion. A talent show "Comic Relief Does Fame Academy" took place piecemeal during the first three hours, though it failed to impress me. The first decent bit was this year's "original" Comic Relief Single "It's All About You" by McFly. Better still though was Peter Kay's "Is This The Way To Amarillo?". An impressive video, though all was revealed how it was filmed, with a green background! Definitely the best bit so far. After that came the first part of "Little Little Britain", and The Vicar of Dibley, both of which were rubbish. Things didn't get any better when Graham Norton took over presenting after the 10 o'Clock News. This phase of the show included another performance from McFly, the second instalment of "Little Little Britain", a one-off edition of Blind Date, and an appearance of the duo Smith & Jones. Alan Partridge appeared a couple of times, one of which was with the Milky Bar Kid. From quarter to one Chris Evans took hosted of the rest of the show. This phase began with a repeat showing of Peter Kay's "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" video, followed by the announcement that this would become "the other" Comic Relief single. Things got worse still after that. Endured a few rounds of Drunken Fame Academy, in which the performers totally ruined good songs. Saw a final helping of Little Little Britain. By 2:25 Saturday morning the grand total was £37,809,564. Well done to all the fundraisers who chipped in to that colossal sum. The show ended with Peter Kay performing "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" in the studio. This included on-screen lyrics for viewers at home to join in, and I for one sang along, to me this was the highlight of the whole evening! As if all this was not enough, a separate programme "When Johnny Met Keira" followed on at 2:27, but I didn't bother with that having had enough already! On the whole, a somewhat disappointing evening's viewing. Charity fundraising or not, fun need not be yuck. The first event for the Hall of Shame.

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RED NOSE DAY 2007 - Friday 16 March 2007
Features
Comic Relief single "Walk This Way" (Girls Aloud and Sugababes), other pop performances
Harry Hill, Little Britain, Beat The Boss, Fame Academy, The Vicar of Dibley, Pro-Celebrity Karaoke
Top Gear, The Apprentice, Deal or No Deal, The Mighty Boosh, Celebrity Number Wang

Comments
"The Big One". That was the theme behind this year's Red Nose Day. As always the BBC covered the show from 19:00 until the small hours of Saturday morning. Once again, I saw the show off-air from 19:00 to midnight, and the rest next day on video. This time I had two RND 07 T-shirts, a white one for Friday and red one for Saturday. Didn't bother wearing a red nose or doing silly things with my hair though. The BBC1 "Hippos" ident at the start of the show got the Red Nose Day treatment, with the hippos donning red noses. Girls Aloud and Sugababes kicked off the action with their performance of the Comic Relief single "Walk This Way", before Lenny Henry and Fearne Cotton appeared. Thereafter entertainment was none too brilliant. It included "Mr. Bean's Wedding", "Harry Hill's TV Burp", "Little Britain" and "Comic Relief Does Beat The Boss", none of which were to my taste. One of the best items was the grand final of Comic Relief Does Fame Academy. The two finalists were Trisha singing "If I Ain't Got You", and Tara singing "These Boots Are Made For Walking". Tara won. A little later there was a short episode of "The Vicar of Dibley", said to be the final ever edition. Next up was "Pro-Celebrity Karaoke", in which Phoenix Night's Brian Potter and Little Britain's Andy Pipkin sang "5,000 Miles". They were joined by several other celebrities including David Bellamy, Tony Blackburn, Jasper Carrott and Krankies, plus Bob the Builder, Basil Brush, Dusty Bin, and Postman Pat. By far this was the best piece of entertainment all evening. As expected, the entertainment was interspersed with appeal films, Ant and Dec reported on Kenya, and there were also films relating to UK projects benefiting from Comic Relief. Finally Take That performed "Patience" before BBC1 broke for the 10 o'Clock News at 22:00. The fun continued on BBC2 with a half hour special of Top Gear. This included songs from pop groups Trellis and Supergrass. Finally McFly performed the song they had written in half an hour, "Sofa, Hyundai, Administration". Back on BBC1, Jonathan Ross appeared to present the show until midnight. First up was "When the Prime Minister Met Katherine Tate", followed by a Comic Relief special of "The Apprentice", featuring Alan Sugar. Later Chris Moyles did "Red Nose Rallyoke", and The Killers sang "Read My Mind". Around midnight Graham Norton began hosting the show. His reign began with a repeat of Pro-Celebrity Karaoke "5,000 Miles" from earlier. This was followed by sketches from Catherine Tate and Little Britain. The best bit of what remained of the show came next: the Comic Relief Rat Pack Chris Moyles, Patrick Kielty, Jimmy Carr performed "My Way", with karaoke lyrics on screen. After that Noel Edmonds hosted a special edition of "Deal or No Deal". Another presenter took over after around 1:30 for the final hour or so. This part of the show included Carol Vorderman and Johnny Ball participating in a game show "Celebrity Number Wang". Towards the end The Greatest Worst Bits of Comic Relief featured clips from past years, followed by highlights of the 2007 show. The end of evening grand total was £40,236,142. Well done to all who contributed to that colossal sum. On the whole, a disappointing evening really. I'd sooner have had more pop performances. It may have been The Big One, but it won't attract a big score here.

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RED NOSE DAY 2009 - Friday 13 March 2009
Features
Comic Relief single "Just Can't Get Enough" (The Saturdays), other pop performances
Harry Hill's TV Burp, Celebrity Mastermind, Outnumbered, Smithy Vs. The England Team
Top of the Pops special, Victorian Dragons' Den, The Apprentice

Comments
"Do something funny for money" Another odd-numbered year, and that meant Red Nose Day one Friday in March, with people doing all sorts of funny things around the country to raise money. Two special T-shirts were on sale at T.K.Maxx, one featuring The Beatles donning red noses, the other with Morecambe and Wise donning red noses. Gave both a miss as neither design was to my taste. Why couldn't they have had T-shirts featuring a large Red Nose Day 2009 logo in addition to those two? Didn't bother donning a red nose either. The main attraction was the night of entertainment from the BBC starting at 19:00. It began with this year's Comic Relief song "Just Can't Get Enough" by The Saturdays; so far so good. Next David Tennant and Davina McCall began presenting the show. What followed was somewhat disappointing. The line-up included Harry Hill's TV Burp, followed by The Sarah Jane Adventures. Both may have appealed to some, but neither impressed me much. John Humphrys presented Celebrity Mastermind: David v Davina. It appeared as though this must have been a joke considering the final scores (specialist subject and general knowledge combined): Davina 8, David 14. Pathetic compared to the real Mastermind. This was followed by a special edition of Outnumbered, featuring a family. More rubbish in my opinion. After that was the first of three instalments of Victorian Dragons' Den, the first featuring the toothbrush. Things didn't improve when Jonathan Ross and Claudia Winkleman took over presenting at 20:40. The sketch Smithy Vs. The England Team was about as amusing as watching paint dry. My biggest disappointment was the low number of songs after the opening song. They needed much more than "Lean on Me" from Annie Lennox and "The Garden" by Take That. When BBC One broke for the news at 22:00, the action continued on BBC Two with a special edition of Top of The Pops. At last, a chance to enjoy a succession of pop songs, including "Islands in the Stream" performed by Rob Brydon & Ruth Jones with Sir Tom Jones. The action returned to BBC One at 22:35, with Fern Britton and Alan Carr at the helm until 1:00. What followed was no better than the first three hours. This part began with an edition of The Apprentice, another somewhat boring item. This was followed by the second instalment of Victorian Dragons' Den: the flush toilet. Later the sketch Mitchell and Webb Vs. Armstrong and Miller was in monochrome, but even if it had been in colour it would still have failed to impress me. After that came the final instalment of Victorian Dragons' Den: the television. If they had to have Victorian Dragons' Den, why couldn't they have had one single edition, promoting the toothbrush, flush toilet and television in succession? Really though, why promote things that are now taken for granted? Wouldn't it have been better to have shown present day innovations? Graham Norton presented from 1:00 to 2:10 and by far his slot was the best. During this time, Jason Manford gave viewers about five minutes of stand-up comedy. He was funny and deserved a little longer. Another good act was the cast of Let's Dance for Comic Relief doing The Full Monty. This was followed by Franz Ferdinand performing the song "Ulysses". There was an explanation of how the Amarillo video was made in 2005, using a green background. What a pity they didn't make something similar this year. Finally at 2:10 it was time to announce the grand total: £57,809,938. Well done to all those who helped raise that staggering sum. On the whole, a very disappointing evening's viewing. It could have been greatly improved with more pop performances, and more stand-up comics such as Jasper Carrott, Jimmy Cricket, Carl Schofield and Craig Harper dotted about the evening. A magician would have worked wonders too, as would celebrities running around the stage bursting balloons. For good measure they could have thrown in a hilarious "It's A Knockout" style act, e.g. celebrities walking a low tight rope above a giant ball pit. To make room for all this, they could easily have dispensed with Celebrity Mastermind, Outnumbered, Smithy Vs. The England Team, Victorian Dragons' Den and The Apprentice. Looking back at recent years, 2005 was bad, 2007 was worse and this year's was worse still in my opinion. If the trend continues, what will RND 2011 be like? Unwatchable garbage, it seems, unless something is done to change it for the better. Well it's said Friday 13th is unlucky, was that to blame for this year's poor effort? So bad, it could become a collector's piece.

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RED NOSE DAY 2011 - Friday 18 March 2011
Features
TV show: assortment of sketches and songs, appeal films
Fundraising events around the UK

Comments
"Do Something Funny For Money" Another odd-numbered year meant that one Friday in March was devoted to doing funny things to raise money. Keeping in the best possible taste, I chose not to wear a red nose or do anything silly with my hair. Furthermore the official T-shirts which were on sale were not to my taste either. Why couldn't they have also done T-shirts bearing the official Red Nose Day 2011 logo? As always, the day culminated in nine hours of entertainment from 19:00 onwards on BBC Television. The evening began on BBC One with an introduction from Lenny Henry. After that, Michael McIntyre and Claudia Winkleman presented the show for the first hour. Their hour began with a special edition of Outnumbered, followed by an edition of Doctor Who: Space by Steven Moffat. Just after 19:30, The Wanted performed the official Comic Relief song "Gold Forever". This was the first live song in the studio. Why did it take until over half an hour after the start of the show for the first song of the night? Next came the first instalment of MasterChef, in which Claudia Winkleman, Ruby Wax and Miranda Hart cooked a meal for David Cameron in No.10 Downing Street. Around 20:05 Graham Norton and Davina McCall took over as presenters. During their slot, viewers were treated to a special edition of Autumnwatch, featuring Harry Hill, a continuation of MasterChef, the first episode of Uptown Downstairs Abbey and a special episode of EastEnders. At 21:10 Graham Norton was replaced by Dermot O'Leary who, with Davina McCall, took the show up until 22:00. During that time, Take That performed the song "Happy Now" in the studio. This was followed by Ant and Dec's Big Red Nose Challenge, in which Ant and Dec had to get on as many TV and radio shows as possible in 24 hours to obtain items to auction for Comic Relief. The shows they appeared on were Daybreak, The Christian O'Connell Breakfast Show, Breakfast, George & Suzie In The Morning, The Classic FM Morning Show, Capital Breakfast Show, Racing News, This Morning, Loose Women, The Alan Titchmarsh Show, QVC, Newsround, CBBC and The One Show. After that was the music video Geraldine McQueen (Peter Kay) & Susan Boyle "I Know Him So Well". At 22:00 BBC One broke for the BBC News at Ten, but the fun continued on BBC Two, presented by Lenny Henry and Fearne Cotton. This part began with the music video "Happy Now" from Take That & Fake That. This was followed by the sketch Miranda's Pineapple Dance Studios in which a group of celebrities took over the Pineapple Dance Studios. After that, JLS and Miranda Hart performed the song "Eyes Wide Shut" live in the studio. This part of the night drew to a close with Gareth Malone & The Comic Relief Chef Choir feat Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up". The choir featured TV chefs including Ainsley Harriott, Antony Worrall Thompson, and Gary Rhodes. At 22:35 coverage returned to BBC One, where Lenny Henry and Fearne Cotton continued presenting until 23:10. Around 23:10 Jonathan Ross and Claudia Winkleman took over presenting until 00:40, and during their slot there were many more sketches. At midnight it was time for me switch off having watched since 19:00. My viewing of the post-midnight coverage on video continued Saturday daytime. Jimmy Carr joined Jonathan and Claudia as an additional presenter at midnight. Post-midnight coverage included Annie Lennox singing "Universal Child" whilst playing the grand piano live in studio. During her song, pictures of Africa were shown. This was followed by The Inbetweeners Rude Road Trip, in which The Inbetweeners Boys searched the UK for the 50 rudest place names in 50 hours. In the end, they found 52 names. From 00:40, Alan Carr, Fearne Cotton and Claudia Winkleman presented the show up to 2:15, with Davina McCall until 1:15. Perhaps the best bit during their slot was the music video Newport, a parody of "Empire State of Mind" (New York) featuring Welsh celebrities in Newport, South Wales. This was followed by 24 Hour Panel People, featuring highlights of 24 hours of comedy panel shows including Blankety Blank, Call My Bluff and Give Us A Clue. After that, The Axis of Awesome sang a live medley of pop songs featuring four chords. The medley included bits of several songs including Forever Young, With or without You, Let It Be, Down Under and Take On Me. This was followed by more 24 Hour Panel People. Finally Gareth Malone & Rick Astley appeared with several members of the night's cast to sing "Never Forget", with on-screen sing-a-long lyrics. At that point the final total £74,360,207 was announced. Well done in raising that colossal sum. That was partly helped by the £10,030,984 from Sainsbury's, the largest single donation Comic Relief has received to-date. That was effectively the end of the night, but Jack Whitehall and Kevin Bridges did an extra bit from 2:15 to 4:00. In my opinion that was just a "bolt on extra", and gave it a miss. Of course the sketches and songs throughout the evening were interspersed with appeal films. On the whole, a reasonable evening of entertainment, better than 2009, but in my opinion it deserved considerably more songs dotted about the evening. As far as Event of the Year is concerned, this is the first event in the Best Show category, and definitely one of the weakest events in that category.

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