Red Nose Day 2003 to 2011

RED NOSE DAY 2003 - Friday 14 March 2003

Features

Various fund-raising events nationwide
Evening variety entertainment show on BBC1

Comments

"The Big Hair Do" was this year's slogan, with people being encouraged to do weird and wacky things to their hair as a fund-raising effort. Chose not to do anything silly with my hair. This year's red noses which featured a tuft of hair and a face were extremely uncomfortable to wear, so mine just stayed in its box! However did join in by donning this year's "RND 03" T-shirt. As for television coverage during the evening, not that brilliant really. What a shambles right at the start of the first half, they had a load of kids on the stage, and the presenter cancelled their performance following some sort of blunder. Several times a gospel choir sang a rather tacky "Thank you whoever" song when the amounts raised by firms such as Mr. Kipling and Littlewoods were announced. Whilst viewing the really late coverage on video two days later, couldn't even see a clear cut end. Perhaps the best bits were just before the beginnings of the two programmes when BBC1 showed one of their current idents followed by a spoof BBC1 ident. Congratulations though to all the fundraisers involved in raising the multi-million pound end-of-night total. A bottom-of-the bunch nul points contender here.

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RED NOSE DAY 2005 - Friday 11 March 2005

Features

Fundraising events around the UK
Harry Hill, Dick and Dom, Comic Relief Does Fame Academy, Little Little Britain
The Vicar of Dibley, Blind Date, Alan Partridge, Smith & Jones, Drunken Fame Academy
Comic Relief singles "It's All About You" (McFly ) and "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" (Peter Kay)

Comments

This year marked the tenth Red Nose Day. The first one took place way back in 1988, and since 1989 this has become a two-yearly event. Donned this year's RND 05 T-shirt, but didn't bother with a red nose, nor did I do anything silly with my hair as some did. As usual, BBC1 covered the event from 19:00 onwards that evening into the small hours of Saturday 12 March. Saw the show off-air until around midnight, and watched the remainder Saturday afternoon on video. The show opened with Jools Holland and R&B Orchestra. Jonathan Ross then appeared to present the show for the first three hours. What followed can best be described as mainly trash. Harry Hill's "TV Burp" and Dick and Dom 's "Pro-Celebrity Bogies", involving gunge throwing, were both a load of rubbish, in my opinion. A talent show "Comic Relief Does Fame Academy" took place piecemeal during the first three hours, though it failed to impress me. The first decent bit was this year's "original" Comic Relief Single "It's All About You" by McFly. Better still though was Peter Kay's "Is This The Way To Amarillo?". An impressive video, though all was revealed how it was filmed, with a green background! Definitely the best bit so far. After that came the first part of "Little Little Britain", and The Vicar of Dibley, both of which were rubbish. Things didn't get any better when Graham Norton took over presenting after the 10 o'Clock News. This phase of the show included another performance from McFly, the second instalment of "Little Little Britain", a one-off edition of Blind Date, and an appearance of the duo Smith & Jones. Alan Partridge appeared a couple of times, one of which was with the Milky Bar Kid. From quarter to one Chris Evans took hosted of the rest of the show. This phase began with a repeat showing of Peter Kay's "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" video, followed by the announcement that this would become "the other" Comic Relief single. Things got worse still after that. Endured a few rounds of Drunken Fame Academy, in which the performers totally ruined good songs. Saw a final helping of Little Little Britain. By 2:25 Saturday morning the grand total was £37,809,564. Well done to all the fundraisers who chipped in to that colossal sum. The show ended with Peter Kay performing "Is This The Way To Amarillo?" in the studio. This included on-screen lyrics for viewers at home to join in, and I for one sang along, to me this was the highlight of the whole evening! As if all this was not enough, a separate programme "When Johnny Met Keira" followed on at 2:27, but I didn't bother with that having had enough already! On the whole, a somewhat disappointing evening's viewing. Charity fundraising or not, fun need not be yuck. The first event for the Hall of Shame.

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RED NOSE DAY 2007 - Friday 16 March 2007

Features

Comic Relief single "Walk This Way" (Girls Aloud and Sugababes), other pop performances
Harry Hill, Little Britain, Beat The Boss, Fame Academy, The Vicar of Dibley, Pro-Celebrity Karaoke
Top Gear, The Apprentice, Deal or No Deal, The Mighty Boosh, Celebrity Number Wang

Comments

"The Big One". That was the theme behind this year's Red Nose Day. As always the BBC covered the show from 19:00 until the small hours of Saturday morning. Once again, I saw the show off-air from 19:00 to midnight, and the rest next day on video. This time I had two RND 07 T-shirts, a white one for Friday and red one for Saturday. Didn't bother wearing a red nose or doing silly things with my hair though. The BBC1 "Hippos" ident at the start of the show got the Red Nose Day treatment, with the hippos donning red noses. Girls Aloud and Sugababes kicked off the action with their performance of the Comic Relief single "Walk This Way", before Lenny Henry and Fearne Cotton appeared. Thereafter entertainment was none too brilliant. It included "Mr. Bean's Wedding", "Harry Hill's TV Burp", "Little Britain" and "Comic Relief Does Beat The Boss", none of which were to my taste. One of the best items was the grand final of Comic Relief Does Fame Academy. The two finalists were Trisha singing "If I Ain't Got You", and Tara singing "These Boots Are Made For Walking". Tara won. A little later there was a short episode of "The Vicar of Dibley", said to be the final ever edition. Next up was "Pro-Celebrity Karaoke", in which Phoenix Night's Brian Potter and Little Britain's Andy Pipkin sang "5,000 Miles". They were joined by several other celebrities including David Bellamy, Tony Blackburn, Jasper Carrott and Krankies, plus Bob the Builder, Basil Brush, Dusty Bin, and Postman Pat. By far this was the best piece of entertainment all evening. As expected, the entertainment was interspersed with appeal films, Ant and Dec reported on Kenya, and there were also films relating to UK projects benefiting from Comic Relief. Finally Take That performed "Patience" before BBC1 broke for the 10 o'Clock News at 22:00. The fun continued on BBC2 with a half hour special of Top Gear. This included songs from pop groups Trellis and Supergrass. Finally McFly performed the song they had written in half an hour, "Sofa, Hyundai, Administration". Back on BBC1, Jonathan Ross appeared to present the show until midnight. First up was "When the Prime Minister Met Katherine Tate", followed by a Comic Relief special of "The Apprentice", featuring Alan Sugar. Later Chris Moyles did "Red Nose Rallyoke", and The Killers sang "Read My Mind". Around midnight Graham Norton began hosting the show. His reign began with a repeat of Pro-Celebrity Karaoke "5,000 Miles" from earlier. This was followed by sketches from Catherine Tate and Little Britain. The best bit of what remained of the show came next: the Comic Relief Rat Pack Chris Moyles, Patrick Kielty, Jimmy Carr performed "My Way", with karaoke lyrics on screen. After that Noel Edmonds hosted a special edition of "Deal or No Deal". Another presenter took over after around 1:30 for the final hour or so. This part of the show included Carol Vorderman and Johnny Ball participating in a game show "Celebrity Number Wang". Towards the end The Greatest Worst Bits of Comic Relief featured clips from past years, followed by highlights of the 2007 show. The end of evening grand total was £40,236,142. Well done to all who contributed to that colossal sum. On the whole, a disappointing evening really. I'd sooner have had more pop performances. It may have been The Big One, but it won't attract a big score here.

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RED NOSE DAY 2009 - Friday 13 March 2009

Features

Comic Relief single "Just Can't Get Enough" (The Saturdays), other pop performances
Harry Hill's TV Burp, Celebrity Mastermind, Outnumbered, Smithy Vs. The England Team
Top of the Pops special, Victorian Dragons' Den, The Apprentice

Comments

"Do something funny for money" Another odd-numbered year, and that meant Red Nose Day one Friday in March, with people doing all sorts of funny things around the country to raise money. Two special T-shirts were on sale at T.K.Maxx, one featuring The Beatles donning red noses, the other with Morecambe and Wise donning red noses. Gave both a miss as neither design was to my taste. Why couldn't they have had T-shirts featuring a large Red Nose Day 2009 logo in addition to those two? Didn't bother donning a red nose either. The main attraction was the night of entertainment from the BBC starting at 19:00. It began with this year's Comic Relief song "Just Can't Get Enough" by The Saturdays; so far so good. Next David Tennant and Davina McCall began presenting the show. What followed was somewhat disappointing. The line-up included Harry Hill's TV Burp, followed by The Sarah Jane Adventures. Both may have appealed to some, but neither impressed me much. John Humphrys presented Celebrity Mastermind: David v Davina. It appeared as though this must have been a joke considering the final scores (specialist subject and general knowledge combined): Davina 8, David 14. Pathetic compared to the real Mastermind. This was followed by a special edition of Outnumbered, featuring a family. More rubbish in my opinion. After that was the first of three instalments of Victorian Dragons' Den, the first featuring the toothbrush. Things didn't improve when Jonathan Ross and Claudia Winkleman took over presenting at 20:40. The sketch Smithy Vs. The England Team was about as amusing as watching paint dry. My biggest disappointment was the low number of songs after the opening song. They needed much more than "Lean on Me" from Annie Lennox and "The Garden" by Take That. When BBC One broke for the news at 22:00, the action continued on BBC Two with a special edition of Top of The Pops. At last, a chance to enjoy a succession of pop songs, including "Islands in the Stream" performed by Rob Brydon & Ruth Jones with Sir Tom Jones. The action returned to BBC One at 22:35, with Fern Britton and Alan Carr at the helm until 1:00. What followed was no better than the first three hours. This part began with an edition of The Apprentice, another somewhat boring item. This was followed by the second instalment of Victorian Dragons' Den: the flush toilet. Later the sketch Mitchell and Webb Vs. Armstrong and Miller was in monochrome, but even if it had been in colour it would still have failed to impress me. After that came the final instalment of Victorian Dragons' Den: the television. If they had to have Victorian Dragons' Den, why couldn't they have had one single edition, promoting the toothbrush, flush toilet and television in succession? Really though, why promote things that are now taken for granted? Wouldn't it have been better to have shown present day innovations? Graham Norton presented from 1:00 to 2:10 and by far his slot was the best. During this time, Jason Manford gave viewers about five minutes of stand-up comedy. He was funny and deserved a little longer. Another good act was the cast of Let's Dance for Comic Relief doing The Full Monty. This was followed by Franz Ferdinand performing the song "Ulysses". There was an explanation of how the Amarillo video was made in 2005, using a green background. What a pity they didn't make something similar this year. Finally at 2:10 it was time to announce the grand total: £57,809,938. Well done to all those who helped raise that staggering sum. On the whole, a very disappointing evening's viewing. It could have been greatly improved with more pop performances, and more stand-up comics such as Jasper Carrott, Jimmy Cricket, Carl Schofield and Craig Harper dotted about the evening. A magician would have worked wonders too, as would celebrities running around the stage bursting balloons. For good measure they could have thrown in a hilarious "It's A Knockout" style act, e.g. celebrities walking a low tight rope above a giant ball pit. To make room for all this, they could easily have dispensed with Celebrity Mastermind, Outnumbered, Smithy Vs. The England Team, Victorian Dragons' Den and The Apprentice. Looking back at recent years, 2005 was bad, 2007 was worse and this year's was worse still in my opinion. If the trend continues, what will RND 2011 be like? Unwatchable garbage, it seems, unless something is done to change it for the better. Well it's said Friday 13th is unlucky, was that to blame for this year's poor effort? So bad, it could become a collector's piece.

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RED NOSE DAY 2011 - Friday 18 March 2011

Features

TV show: assortment of sketches and songs, appeal films
Fundraising events around the UK

Comments

"Do Something Funny For Money" Another odd-numbered year meant that one Friday in March was devoted to doing funny things to raise money. Keeping in the best possible taste, I chose not to wear a red nose or do anything silly with my hair. Furthermore the official T-shirts which were on sale were not to my taste either. Why couldn't they have also done T-shirts bearing the official Red Nose Day 2011 logo? As always, the day culminated in nine hours of entertainment from 19:00 onwards on BBC Television. The evening began on BBC One with an introduction from Lenny Henry. After that, Michael McIntyre and Claudia Winkleman presented the show for the first hour. Their hour began with a special edition of Outnumbered, followed by an edition of Doctor Who: Space by Steven Moffat. Just after 19:30, The Wanted performed the official Comic Relief song "Gold Forever". This was the first live song in the studio. Why did it take until over half an hour after the start of the show for the first song of the night? Next came the first instalment of MasterChef, in which Claudia Winkleman, Ruby Wax and Miranda Hart cooked a meal for David Cameron in No.10 Downing Street. Around 20:05 Graham Norton and Davina McCall took over as presenters. During their slot, viewers were treated to a special edition of Autumnwatch, featuring Harry Hill, a continuation of MasterChef, the first episode of Uptown Downstairs Abbey and a special episode of EastEnders. At 21:10 Graham Norton was replaced by Dermot O'Leary who, with Davina McCall, took the show up until 22:00. During that time, Take That performed the song "Happy Now" in the studio. This was followed by Ant and Dec's Big Red Nose Challenge, in which Ant and Dec had to get on as many TV and radio shows as possible in 24 hours to obtain items to auction for Comic Relief. The shows they appeared on were Daybreak, The Christian O'Connell Breakfast Show, Breakfast, George & Suzie In The Morning, The Classic FM Morning Show, Capital Breakfast Show, Racing News, This Morning, Loose Women, The Alan Titchmarsh Show, QVC, Newsround, CBBC and The One Show. After that was the music video Geraldine McQueen (Peter Kay) & Susan Boyle "I Know Him So Well". At 22:00 BBC One broke for the BBC News at Ten, but the fun continued on BBC Two, presented by Lenny Henry and Fearne Cotton. This part began with the music video "Happy Now" from Take That & Fake That. This was followed by the sketch Miranda's Pineapple Dance Studios in which a group of celebrities took over the Pineapple Dance Studios. After that, JLS and Miranda Hart performed the song "Eyes Wide Shut" live in the studio. This part of the night drew to a close with Gareth Malone & The Comic Relief Chef Choir feat Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up". The choir featured TV chefs including Ainsley Harriott, Antony Worrall Thompson, and Gary Rhodes. At 22:35 coverage returned to BBC One, where Lenny Henry and Fearne Cotton continued presenting until 23:10. Around 23:10 Jonathan Ross and Claudia Winkleman took over presenting until 00:40, and during their slot there were many more sketches. At midnight it was time for me switch off having watched since 19:00. My viewing of the post-midnight coverage on video continued Saturday daytime. Jimmy Carr joined Jonathan and Claudia as an additional presenter at midnight. Post-midnight coverage included Annie Lennox singing "Universal Child" whilst playing the grand piano live in studio. During her song, pictures of Africa were shown. This was followed by The Inbetweeners Rude Road Trip, in which The Inbetweeners Boys searched the UK for the 50 rudest place names in 50 hours. In the end, they found 52 names. From 00:40, Alan Carr, Fearne Cotton and Claudia Winkleman presented the show up to 2:15, with Davina McCall until 1:15. Perhaps the best bit during their slot was the music video Newport, a parody of "Empire State of Mind" (New York) featuring Welsh celebrities in Newport, South Wales. This was followed by 24 Hour Panel People, featuring highlights of 24 hours of comedy panel shows including Blankety Blank, Call My Bluff and Give Us A Clue. After that, The Axis of Awesome sang a live medley of pop songs featuring four chords. The medley included bits of several songs including Forever Young, With or without You, Let It Be, Down Under and Take On Me. This was followed by more 24 Hour Panel People. Finally Gareth Malone & Rick Astley appeared with several members of the night's cast to sing "Never Forget", with on-screen sing-a-long lyrics. At that point the final total £74,360,207 was announced. Well done in raising that colossal sum. That was partly helped by the £10,030,984 from Sainsbury's, the largest single donation Comic Relief has received to-date. That was effectively the end of the night, but Jack Whitehall and Kevin Bridges did an extra bit from 2:15 to 4:00. In my opinion that was just a "bolt on extra", and gave it a miss. Of course the sketches and songs throughout the evening were interspersed with appeal films. On the whole, a reasonable evening of entertainment, better than 2009, but in my opinion it deserved considerably more songs dotted about the evening. As far as Event of the Year is concerned, this is the first event in the Best Show category, and definitely one of the weakest events in that category.

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