Venue: Thorpe Park
Who Went: Just me
N.B. Any use of "today" in this report means Sunday 30 September 2018.
Introduction
Sunday 30 September 2018 was my 47th birthday and, as usual, my biggest decision was where to go to mark the occasion. This time it took me until the middle of September to make up my mind. The problem was made worse this year with my birthday falling on a Sunday, which is a bad day for travelling anywhere by train from Bath, as trains in all directions start running later than they do Monday to Saturday. For example, the earliest train to London Paddington was scheduled to depart Bath Spa at 07:58 on Sunday 30 September 2018. Although that may seem early enough for a day trip, I've set off from Bath Spa much earlier than that to visit Thorpe Park when my birthday has fallen on weekdays in recent years, and arrived at Staines around 08:00. By looking at National Rail Enquiries website in advance, I discovered that the earliest I could arrive at Staines on a Sunday would be 10:17. Assuming I could catch a Thorpe Park shuttle bus from the railway station within ten minutes of arrival, I estimated I would be able to get to Thorpe Park by 10:45, and be in the Park before 11:00. I felt I could live with that admission time, on this one occasion, even though Thorpe Park was due to open at 10:00 that day. On those grounds, I made the firm decision to visit Thorpe Park on my birthday, and on 16 September I booked Advance train tickets from Bath Spa to Staines, and back, plus my Thorpe Park entry ticket, online. For the eighth year running I had a special birthday T-shirt of my own design printed about a fortnight before my birthday; for the fourth year running I had it printed at John Moore Sports, Bath.Getting to Thorpe Park
It was necessary for me to wake up at 05:45, which for me is very early, in order to get myself ready. When I got to Bath Spa station around 07:35, the 07:58 London Paddington train, which I was booked to catch, was cancelled. This was due to over-running engineering work; the train, which was to provide this service, was originating from a depot in the affected area, and could not leave the depot until the line was reopened. The next available train, bound for London Paddington, was due to depart Bath Spa at 08:28. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before that too showed up as delayed, as the train providing that service was also originating from the same depot, and also affected by the same over-running engineering work. Momentarily I wondered if I'd ever get going, and went to enquire. Thankfully, a member of staff reassured me that, if the 08:28 London Paddington train also ended up being cancelled, the 09:06 London Paddington train would definitely run as that was planned to be an HST which was starting from a different depot, and was therefore unaffected by the engineering. Meanwhile I tried to buy a coffee, but all refreshment facilities on the station were still closed. Luckily, I managed to buy a takeaway latte from The Old Station Café just across the road from the front of the station, and I took it back to Bath Spa station platform 2. The late-running 08:28 London Paddington train finally left Bath Spa at 08:49. Further problems arose when I arrived at Reading at 09:43. The 10:02 London Waterloo train (for Staines) was cancelled and the next London Waterloo train was scheduled to depart at 10:29. Meanwhile, I had a takeaway croissant and Americano from Brewer St Coffee. Annoyingly, the 10:29 London Waterloo train ended up being delayed; it finally left Reading just after 11:00. Just before that train departed, I bought myself another takeaway Americano from Pumpkin, to consume on that train. Once that train departed Reading, it ran non-stop to Staines; I finally arrived there at 11:34. Soon afterwards, I caught the 11:45 Thorpe Park Express bus, which finally arrived Thorpe Park at 11:58.Day at Thorpe Park
Welcome to Thorpe Park
Having finally arrived at Thorpe Park, the first thing I noticed was the new hedge, and the security checkpoint. I had pre-booked a ticket online, but went through the security checkpoint, thinking the Advance Ticket Collection point was still where it was on my previous visit in September 2016. Unfortunately, when I got past the checkpoint, I discovered Advance Ticket Collection is now in a new building outside the enclosed area, and I should have gone there before going through the checkpoint. I had to go back out of the enclosed area to the ticket building to collect my pre-booked ticket. When I went through the security checkpoint second time around, my rucksack had to be checked again, even though it had been checked first time round, which was annoying as the only extra item I now had was my ticket. Anyway, once past the security checkpoint, I proceeded to the Park entrance, my ticket was scanned and I finally entered the Park around 12:15.Pre-Lunch Riding
Vortex
Once past the Dome, I began with Vortex, largely because its queue was quite short (I managed to get on after one or two runs). This KMG Afterburner has been operating at Thorpe Park since May 2001. Eight sets of four inward facing seats are attached by spokes to a central arm, which is vertical whilst the ride is stationary. Once everyone was secured, the central arm began spinning, and shortly afterwards started to swing. Thereafter the arm swung back and forth with the seat sets going around in a circle. Eventually the arm stopped swinging and shortly afterwards it stopped rotating. I managed to remain quiet throughout the duration of the ride. One go was great fun but I wouldn't like to risk a second go on this straight off. This was my only go on Vortex all day.Quantum
This Fabbri Magic Carpet ride, which opened in 2003, has rows of seats facing the centre. I decided to ride this next, as it is close to Vortex, and it too had a fairly short queue. Even so, it took me a few runs to get on Quantum. The ride went up part way in one direction, down and part way up in the opposite direction, then down to the home position. Next time around it went up higher each direction. Eventually it went really high in each direction. The best bit was when it went right up and over to do a complete loop. Finally, it slowed down, stopped and everyone left the ride. A pleasurable ride, although undeniably tame compared to Vortex. This was my only go on Quantum all day.Having left Quantum, I walked around the Park deciding what to do next. Already I noticed the big rides, such as Colossus, Rush, SAW - The Ride and Nemesis Inferno had 30 to 60 minutes waiting times. That was annoying, as I wanted to ride all those, but it was obvious I wouldn't get many rides the rest of the afternoon if I kept having to queue for that long.
Mr. Monkey's Banana Ride
As I walked around the Park, I passed Mr. Monkey's Banana Ride, which had very few visitors waiting to ride it, so I went on this next. This is basically a swinging pirate ship, but the boat resembles a yellow banana. A fun "fill in" ride to add to the total number of rides this visit, but once was enough.Rumba Rapids
This Intamin river rafting ride originally opened in 1987 as Thunder River, and was called Ribena Rumba Rapids from 2002 to 2006. Since 2007 it has been operating as Rumba Rapids. The queue for this was very short; it wasn't long before I got into a boat along with other riders. The boat floated around the flowing waterway and up the ramp back to the station. Part way around, I noticed waves which gave the feeling of being on choppy water, but apart from that it was more a relaxing ride than a thrilling one. My one go on Rumba Rapids now was my only go on it all day.Lunch
Around 14:00 I felt like a light lunch. Since I was intending to have a cooked meal, which was likely to include chips, in Staines early evening, I really only wanted sandwiches or a filled roll, plus a coffee now. I went to The Dome, hoping to get a sandwich or filled roll somewhere there, but when I got there, I was unable to get either. Having left the Dome, I was unable to find any kiosks or cafés elsewhere that did sandwiches or rolls. Eventually I went to KFC, where I had a regular Fillet Burger Meal, which included regular fries and a regular drink (I chose 7-Up). Having fries with my Fillet Burger meant I wouldn't want chips with a meal later, thereby creating a potential problem for later, but I tried to put that out of my mind for now.Post-Lunch Riding
The Swarm
Having left KFC, I headed straight for The Swarm. Normally, I like to allow some time to elapse before returning to riding after eating, but on this occasion, I knew the estimated queuing time for The Swarm, which was quite long, would give me my required interval between eating and riding. Although The Swarm first opened on 15 March 2012, it is still Thorpe Park's newest coaster. This Bolliger & Mabillard Wing Coaster (Custom) is a model which has been in production since 2011. According to the RCDB, this is one of ten coasters of this model currently operating worldwide, and the second to enter operation. Its maximum height of 127' (38.7 m) makes it the fifth tallest coaster currently operating in the UK. It appears to me as though this coaster was themed around an air crash, due to the broken aeroplane on the ground and the station which resembles an air crash / fire damaged church, with a missing roof. Originally all the seats faced forwards, but at the start of the 2013 season, the back two rows were reversed to face backwards to the direction of travel. At the start of the 2016 season, the back two rows returned to being forward facing. Queuing for this seemed to take for ever, but when it was my turn to ride, I sat in the second-from-back row, on the left-hand side (as viewed facing forwards). The train climbed the lift hill, descended the steep first drop, climbed the next hill, flipped over at the top before going down again. This was followed by a loop, another flip-over and the rest of the course back to the station. Altogether a mega fun coaster ride, definitely worth the long wait. Due to the queuing time, this was my only go on The Swarm all day.Flying Fish
Being as I passed this anyway whilst heading back to the central area of the Park, it made sense for me to ride this next. On top of which, its queue was very short; I think I only had to wait one or two runs to get on. This Mack Rides Blauer Enzian originally operated as Space Station Zero from 1983 to 1989, and Flying Fish from 1990 to 31 October 2004. After being in storage during 2005 and 2006, it was brought back into service, still as Flying Fish, at the start of the 2007 season. According to the RCDB, this is one of eight coasters of this model currently operating worldwide. Unlike Thorpe Park's other coasters, one ride consists of multiple laps of the track, although from my past experience the actual number you get seems to vary from turn to turn. On this go, there were two laps of the track. Flying Fish is undeniably a tame coaster, but nonetheless still worth riding to say I had been on it today. This was my only go on Flying Fish all day.Zodiac
A kind of big wheel made by Huss. It is similar to Enterprise at Alton Towers, which I rode during Loopathon Alton Towers in 2005 and 2006. Thankfully the queue for this was quite short, and I was among the batch of riders to get on after a couple of runs. I sat in car 12 and the door was locked shut. The cars hang from above; you sit inside one but there is no restraint. The ride set off clockwise. As it picked up speed, the cars flung outwards, and eventually the whole disc tilted so everyone travelled around a circle at high speed on an angle. At this speed, centrifugal force kept riders firmly in place, hence no need for a restraint. I noticed it was almost impossible to lift my feet or move my arms when going full speed. Towards the end the disc returned to the horizontal position, the ride slowed down and the cars returned to their normal dangling position. A mega fun ride, but once at a time is enough for me. Two goes on this straight off would make me really giddy. This turned out to be my final non-coaster ride of the day.Colossus
This Intamin Amusement Rides Looping Coaster (Colossus) has been operating at Thorpe Park since 22 March 2002. According to the Roller Coaster Database (RCDB), it is still one of just two coasters of this model worldwide. I noticed the long, estimated queuing time when I approached the queue entrance, but I was determined to ride Colossus, and knew that if I kept putting it off for later, I might not ride it at all. Therefore, I joined the back of the queue, knowing I'd have to put up with the long wait. As I queued, I increasingly got the impression this would have to be my final ride of the day, as it might be almost ride closing time when I'd finally get on. Eventually, I was able to get on the train. Once despatched, the train climbed the lift hill, went around a bend and down a steep hill, around the vertical loop and under a bridge. Next it went up half a loop, before doing a U-turn whilst inverted and down another half loop. After that it went back under same bridge as earlier, up and down a bit, along a flat section, and into the horizontal corkscrew. Finally, the train headed around the end bend on an angle, along the home straight and back to the station. Altogether a fun ride, I was totally relaxed and didn't scream at all throughout the ride, unlike when I first rode it in June 2005.Closing Time
Sadly, by the time I left Colossus, the time was 17:00 and all the ride queues were closed. Thus, I only had eight rides all day, which is disappointingly low. I felt gutted and heartbroken I didn't have time for the coasters Nemesis Inferno, SAW - The Ride and Stealth; or the giant swing Rush. At least I enjoyed the rides I did go on. Now that it was time for me to leave, I gradually headed towards the Dome and exit. Along the way I had a few more photos taken of me at various points along the way. I finally left Thorpe Park 17:26. On my way out of Thorpe Park, I suddenly remembered Terry Wogan once said, during the voting sequence of the Eurovision Song Contest several years ago, "You don't know whether to laugh or cry". That's precisely how I felt whilst walking back to the bus stop, after getting up at 05:45, getting ready and taking all morning to travel to Thorpe Park, only to have such an appallingly low ride count (eight rides) in the five hours I was there.Summary of my day at Thorpe Park in order of activity
Vortex 1
Quantum 1
Mr. Monkey's Banana Ride 1
Rumba Rapids 1
Regular Fillet Burger Meal at KFC
The Swarm 1
Flying Fish 1
Zodiac 1
Colossus 1
Cumulative Summary of Rides
| Ride | Total |
| Colossus | 1 |
| Flying Fish | 1 |
| Mr. Monkey's Banana Ride | 1 |
| Quantum | 1 |
| Rumba Rapids | 1 |
| The Swarm | 1 |
| Vortex | 1 |
| Zodiac | 1 |
| TOTAL | 8 |
Returning to Staines
Back at the bus stop, I queued for the Thorpe Park Express bus to Staines. I managed to get on the next one, which departed Thorpe Park at 17:43. The bus arrived at Staines Bus Station at 17:51; I got off it there.Birthday Dinner
My birthday fun continued back in Staines town centre. Around 18:15 I went to Pizza Hut, Two Rivers Retail Park for my celebratory dinner. When I arrived, I pinned four birthday rosettes to my T-shirt. Once seated, I placed my birthday card on the table, and took time deciding what I wanted to eat and drink. Eventually, I ordered an Individual Veggie Pizza (Mozzarella, spinach, sweetcorn, peppers, red onions and mushrooms) on an All-American Thin base. A salad bowl was included, so I filled a bowl with a mixture of salad items. In addition, I ordered a 330ml bottle of Carlsberg to drink with my meal, as it was my birthday. My pizza was really delicious. Together with the accompanying salad, it was a filling main course. Nonetheless, my birthday meal wouldn't have been complete without a dessert. I ordered Chocolate Chip Hot Cookie Dough, served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a drizzle of sauce, for dessert. When my dessert arrived, the scoop of ice cream had a burning birthday candle in it, to mark my birthday. I blew out the candle, removed it and enjoyed my dessert. As expected, it was yummy; it tasted out of this world. Once I had finished my dessert, I enjoyed the rest of my Carlsberg at a leisurely pace. Having finished my Carlsberg around 19:45, I still had plenty of time to spare before I needed to start walking back to the railway station, so to fill time, I had a latte. Just before I left around 20:25, I had a few more pictures taken of me.Summary of my meal
Main course: Individual Veggie Pizza (Mozzarella, spinach, sweetcorn, peppers, red onions and mushrooms)Dessert: Chocolate Chip Hot Cookie Dough
Drink: Carlsberg 330ml bottle
After-dinner drink: latte
Journey Home
Having left Pizza Hut, I began walking to Staines railway station; I got there at 20:40. The next train to Reading was due to depart at 20:53. Unfortunately I couldn't travel on that as the first part of my journey home, specified on my Advance ticket schedule, was the 21:23 train to Reading. All I could do was wait, with nothing to do. Anyway, the journey home went much more smoothly than my outward journey in the morning. The 21:23 Reading train departed Staines on time, and arrived Reading at 22:11. Whilst at Reading, I felt like a coffee, but didn't think any refreshment facilities on the station would be open that late at night. Thankfully, West Cornwall Pasty Company, on the station bridge, was open, so I bought an Americano there and consumed it on the platform, from which my onward train was due to depart. I completed my journey on the 22:45 train to Bath Spa, which arrived there at 23:49. Soon after that, I was home at last, dead tired!Outro
Highlights
Dry weather all day, and sunny at times.Riding three roller coasters (The Swarm, Flying Fish, Colossus) and five non-coaster rides again.
Celebratory birthday dinner at Pizza Hut, in Staines town centre, in the evening.
Lowlights
Severely disrupted train journey from Bath Spa to Staines in the morning.Long queues for the extreme rides at Thorpe Park.
Appallingly low ride count; just eight rides in the five hours I was there.
Summing Up
Altogether a grand day out to mark my 47th birthday. Where better to spend one's birthday than enjoying the rides at The Nation's Thrill Capital? It's such a pity I reached Thorpe Park later than originally anticipated. As if that wasn't bad enough, it's a shame I only had time for eight rides in the five hours I was in the Park. Furthermore, of those eight rides, only two of those were the extreme coasters, The Swarm and Colossus, which I spent considerable lengths of time queuing for. The remaining six rides were ones which had very short queues; apart from the Afterburner ride Vortex, those were family rides. Even if I'd avoided those six rides, I might still have been hard pressed to fit in the giant roller coasters Nemesis Inferno, SAW - The Ride and/or Stealth (which I missed), in addition to The Swarm and Colossus which I actually rode, due to their queuing times, in which case my overall ride count would have been lower still. Looking back, I might have been wiser to have travelled from Bath to Staines during the afternoon of Saturday 29 September, and stayed overnight somewhere in Staines. That would have allowed me to have arrived at Thorpe Park in time for its 10:00 opening, and I'd have fitted more rides in during its first two hours of opening. Anyway, at least I enjoyed the eight rides I did have at Thorpe Park. Despite my disappointingly low ride count at Thorpe Park, the celebratory evening dinner, at Pizza Hut in Staines town centre, was the grand finale to this special day. Several people liked my self-designed 47th birthday T-shirt, though some were confused by the front, until they saw the back. Wearing that throughout the day added to the fun of celebrating my birthday.Back to the top
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