Nemesis Nick at Splashdown Poole 30 December 2016

Date: Friday 30 December 2016
Venue: Splashdown Poole
Who Went: Just me

Rationale for Trip

Since 2004 I've visited Splashdown once a year. From 2005 to 2011 I normally went on a Saturday in mid-September (exceptionally in 2009 I went on the second Saturday in October), and in 2012 and 2013 I went one Saturday in July. In 2014 I hoped to go in July again, but for various reasons ended up going on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of August, and unsurprisingly the place was a bit busy for my liking. Due to me not going during summer or autumn 2015, I ended up going during Christmas 2015 for the first time ever, which meant missing out on the outdoor slides. In 2016 I hoped to go between May and September, in order to be able to enjoy the outdoor slides again, but for various reasons it took me until Christmas to visit Splashdown for the second year running.

Getting to Splashdown

The trip began when I caught the 12:13 train from Dorchester South to Poole. Having reached Poole at 12:46 I had a large coffee at Shake Away before catching the 13:30 bus from Poole Bus Station to Tower Park.

Splashdown

Splashdown is a large water park at Tower Park leisure complex on the outskirts of Poole. In fact, it claims to be "the South's favourite waterpark". Other amenities at Tower Park include Gala Bingo, Hollywood Bowl (ten-pin bowling, formerly Bowlplex), Lemur Landings Soft Play Centre (a kids' indoor play area formerly called Monkey-Bizness) and Cineworld multi-screen cinema, along with fast food restaurants KFC and Burger King.

Welcome to Splashdown

I finally reached Splashdown just before 14:00. During the winter your admission fee allows you to stay as long as you like. Just like my previous visits I had a discount by showing my Wilts & Dorset bus ticket (Poole Bus Station to Tower Park). Clearly this is an incentive for people to do their bit for the environment by taking the bus instead of their car to Splashdown.

Background Information

For the last few years they've used the smart band system. You have to pay a deposit which you get back when you return the smart band at the end of your visit. If you pay for two hours, the band is pre-loaded with two hours and ten minutes of sliding time. The extra ten minutes is to allow you ten minutes to change. Obviously if you manage to change quicker e.g. in five minutes, you can take advantage of those bonus minutes. On this occasion my smart band was loaded with enough time to last until closing time of 17:00.

Each time you are about to go down a slide, you have to tag your band against a sensor which tells you how much time is left. Tagging the band changes the light from red to amber (and then to green when the slide is clear) or directly to green if clear. If the light flashes and the time left is zero, you can have that "final go" you've queued for, but can't have any more goes after that. Clearly, the smart band is to stop those who've paid for two hours staying longer!

Here is an outline of the indoor slides.

Colorado Coaster

A wide blue tube slide. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a landing pool.

Red River Roller

A narrow pink tube slide (however the entrance is red), which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a catch tray.

Zambezi Drop

A narrow yellow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a U-bend and a very steep drop until you land in a catch tray. Not for the faint hearted!

Baron's Revenge

A narrow black tube slide, which you must slide on your back. You are only in this slide a few seconds as you face a very steep drop, which takes you around a bend into a landing pool. A short, sharp shock treatment, not for the faint hearted!

Dragon's Lair

Until 2004 this was called Torpedo Run. You crossed an enclosed bridge and climbed a tall tower (off-set from the front of the building) to the launch point, set off down the slide and looped right around the tower before going "into the building". In 2005 that tower was demolished to make way for KFC (an alteration which was beyond Splashdown's control). The replacement tower is not so tall, and the same slide, now called Dragon's Lair, now starts where the Torpedo Run "entered the building" after looping around the old tower. Personally I think that alteration spoilt the slide as it shortened it somewhat. In what's left of the former Torpedo Run, they've added a dragon face part way down and dragon sound effects to make the slide scarier. Personally I think that enhancement is a gimmick, which doesn't really make up for shortening the slide from when it was the Torpedo Run. You land in a catch tray next to the Zambezi Drop catch tray.

The idea of Torpedo Run was to gain speed as you travelled downwards looping around the old tower prior to entering the building, so by the time you reached the steep drop shortly afterwards you were going really fast. Now there's not enough run-up to gain high speed before the steep drop (which is still present), therefore the dragon theming was an attempt to make the best use of what's left of the former Torpedo Run.

Infinity

Formerly called Space Bowl until 2015, the first time I ever saw this at Splashdown was when I visited on Saturday 24 July 2004. On my previous visit, 30 September 2001 (which was my 30th birthday), it wasn't there. This was a much-needed retro-fit to the place, as I feel every good water park should have a Space Bowl. When originally installed, Space Bowl lacked a roof. At the start of the 2016 season, Space Bowl was roofed over, fitted with change-colour LED lights and renamed Infinity. You begin your journey down a narrow tube slide which takes you into a giant space bowl. A burst of music provided by Wave FM is played; the music is changed at various times of the year. Once inside it you spin around like a human pinball. The faster you enter the more times you spin around. Eventually you drop through the centre hole into the deep tank below (thus it's essential that you can swim). The best way to land is feet first. Don't land sideways so your elbow hits the water first. Finally you must exit the landing tank as quickly as possible. Basically the journey from start to finish is just the same as before the alteration, but you now get a burst of music whilst in the space bowl, accompanied by LED lighting, which you didn't get before 2016.

Mississippi Drifter

You need a tyre to slide this. You step into a u-bend shaped splasher pool, go down a short slide into the second splasher pool, then down another short slide into a third splasher pool. After going down one more short slide you drift around a bend. Where you go next depends on the time of year.

N.B. Prior to the installation of the Space Bowl, Mississippi Drifter began at the launch point for the present Space Bowl, and went down a slide which took you to the first splasher pool where you now begin the journey. At least the installation of the Space Bowl didn't spoil Mississippi Drifter in the way I feel the 2005 alteration spoilt Torpedo Run to become Dragon's Lair.

Grand Canyon

In summer you go from Mississippi Drifter, down a ramp out of the building and along the Grand Canyon. You drift along a lazy river type ride, around a bend and eventually enter a tube slide with a shower part way down. After that you pass through another outdoor splasher pool and go down a ramp into the building to land in a landing pool between Black Thunder and Colorado Coaster.

During the winter, the ramp leading from Mississippi Drifter into Grand Canyon is blocked off at its top end, and instead you go down a neighbouring internal ramp, after which you go around a u-bend to the top of Black Thunder, and down Black Thunder. Also during the winter, shutters where Grand Canyon leaves the building at the top and re-enters the building at the bottom are pulled down.

Black Thunder

A wide tube slide in which rain, thunder and lightning are simulated. You land in a landing pool. In summer one slides this on its own, without a tyre. During the winter there is a rope between the entrances to this and Baron's Revenge so one can only ride this on a tyre as a continuation of Mississippi Drifter.

During the summer, one can go through the door at the back of the ground floor, walk up a path and can climb a tower to access four outdoor flumes Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister, Screamer and Velocity. None of these existed when Splashdown first opened circa 1990. The first ever time I saw Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer was on my 30th birthday visit there 30 September 2001, although I'm not exactly sure when they first opened. Velocity is the latest addition to this group, it opened early summer 2012. Being outdoor slides, these are closed in winter.

The Splashdown Poole web site has a graphic plan and 360° tour of the Park, showing all the slides (including Velocity which opened in 2012).

Session Overview

Having entered the slides area I began by sliding Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop in sequence three times over. Next I picked up a tyre and went on Mississippi Drifter. When I reached the bottom of Mississippi Drifter, the ramp leading into Grand Canyon was blocked off, because it was winter. Instead I had to go down the neighbouring ramp, around the U-bend, and towards the top of Black Thunder. Since Black Thunder was the continuation of Mississippi Drifter at this time of year, everyone had to enter Black Thunder without tagging its sensor (which was covered over). Congestion occurred at the entrance to Black Thunder, so it took me longer than expected to reach its entrance. Having reached the end of Black Thunder, I had two more goes on Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder; both times I experienced further congestion on the approach to Black Thunder. After that I enjoyed four short, sharp shock goes on Baron's Revenge, followed by six goes on Dragon's Lair.

Next I was eager to try out Infinity, the new name for Space Bowl. This was my first time of seeing inside it since the roof was added. Inside the bowl, the coloured LED lights produced a spectacular effect, and the burst of music added to the fun. Unsurprisingly the music was Christmas themed as I was there during the Christmas season. Having landed in, and exited the tank I had a second go on Infinity.

Now that I had been on everything at least twice each, there was still plenty of time left for me to enjoy everything again, starting with four goes on Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder. Thankfully the entrance to Black Thunder was now less busy than earlier. Next I enjoyed sliding Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop in sequence four times over. Afterwards I had my final six goes of the session on Dragon's Lair, followed by my final three goes of the session on Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder. After that I enjoyed one more go on Infinity.

There was still time for me to slide Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop once each. It was half dark outside now, and sliding these in the half dark was great fun. Afterwards I enjoyed three more goes on Infinity. Closing time was now fast approaching, but there was still enough time for me to slide Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop once each. Now that it was almost fully dark outside, I was sliding these in pitch darkness, which was great fun. Finally, I just had time for two goes on Baron's Revenge before the slides closed at 17:00.

Summary of my sliding:

Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1

Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder 3
Baron's Revenge 4
Dragon's Lair 6
Infinity 2
Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder 4

Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1

Dragon's Lair 6
Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder 3
Infinity 1
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Infinity 3
Colorado Coaster 1
Red River Roller 1
Zambezi Drop 1
Baron's Revenge 2

Cumulative summary of slides:

Slide	Total
Baron's Revenge	6
Colorado Coaster	9
Dragon's Lair	12
Infinity	6
Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder	10
Red River Roller	9
Zambezi Drop	9
TOTAL	61

Rest of Day

Having dressed and left, I went to The Café at Tesco Extra for a much-needed slice of Victoria sponge and small Americano before catching the 17:56 bus to Poole Bus Station, followed by the 18:39 train from Poole to Dorchester South.

Outro

Highlights

High overall slide count
Sliding all the indoor flumes again
Sliding the new-look Space Bowl under its name Infinity for the first time ever
Sliding Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop in the dark just before closing time

Lowlights

Not being able to slide the outdoor flumes this time of year.

Summing Up

Altogether an afternoon of "flumin' great fun" at "the South's favourite waterpark". Although I didn't go to Splashdown at all during summer 2016, at least I nonetheless managed to fit in a visit there on the penultimate day of 2016. Going there in the winter for the second year running meant the outdoor flumes Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister, Screamer and Velocity were closed and Mississippi Drifter fed into the indoor flume Black Thunder instead of the outdoor river run Grand Canyon. Obviously that meant missing out on Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister, Screamer, Velocity and Grand Canyon for the second year running, but it was still great to slide all the indoor slides again. One advantage of going during Christmas was finding the park was really quiet. There were only three or four other sliders in front of me at the most, and I was frequently able to go straight down without having to wait, hence why I achieved such a high slide count in the duration of my visit. The biggest delays were at the top of Black Thunder during my three goes on Mississippi Drifter / Black Thunder in the first hour of my visit. It was also great fun sliding Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop in the dark close to closing time, and sliding the new-look Space Bowl under its name Infinity for the first time ever. The only extra Splashdown could do with is a roller coaster water slide, like the ones I've been on at Blackpool Water Park, Splash Waterworld at Butlins (Skegness and Minehead), Basingstoke Aquadrome, and Swansea LC.

I'm not sure when I'll next visit Splashdown. Hopefully my next visit will be some time in 2017, preferably on a hot sunny day in the summer when the Grand Canyon and the outdoor flumes are open.