Nemesis Nick at Splashdown Poole 17 Sep 2011

Date: Saturday 17 September 2011
Venue: Splashdown Poole
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip

Since 2004 I've visited Splashdown once a year. Saturday 17 September seemed the ideal Saturday to go there as it was after the July / August peak season, yet before the weather started getting colder. That was an important thing to bear in mind as some of the slides are outside.

Getting To Splashdown

I was at Dorchester that weekend and therefore caught the 12:33 train from Dorchester South to Poole. Having arrived Poole at 13:07 I walked to the bus station, whereupon I caught the 13:30 bus to Tower Park.

Splashdown is a large water park at Tower Park leisure complex on the outskirts of Poole. In fact, it claims to be "The South's Ultimate Water Park". Other amenities at Tower Park include Gala Bingo, Bowlplex (ten-pin bowling), Monkey Bizness (kids' indoor play area) and Empire multi-screen cinema, along with fast food restaurants KFC and Burger King.

Afternoon at Splashdown

I got into Splashdown around 2pm. You can buy a two hour ticket or an all-day ticket. Initially I bought a two-hour ticket. The full price for two hours is £9.50, but by showing my Wilts & Dorset bus ticket (Poole Bus Station to Tower Park), I had a two hour ticket for the discounted price of £8.50. Clearly this is an incentive for people to do their bit for the environment by taking the bus instead of their car to Splashdown.

For the last few years they've used the smart band system. You have to pay a deposit which you get back when you return the smart band at the end of your visit. If you pay for two hours, the band is pre-loaded with two hours and ten minutes of sliding time. The extra ten minutes is to allow you ten minutes to change. Obviously if you manage to change quicker e.g. in five minutes, you can take advantage of those bonus minutes.

Each time you are about to go down a slide, you have to tag your band against a sensor which tells you how much time is left. Tagging the band changes the light from red to amber (and then to green when the slide is clear) or directly to green if clear. If the light flashes and the time left is zero, you can have that "final go" you've queued for, but can't have any more goes after that. Clearly, the smart band is to stop those who've paid for two hours staying longer!

Here is an outline of the indoor slides.

Colorado Coaster

A wide blue tube slide. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a landing pool.

Red River Roller

A narrow pink tube slide, which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a catch tray.

Zambezi Drop

A narrow yellow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed U-bend and very steep drop until you land in a catch tray.

Baron's Revenge

A narrow black tube slide, which you must slide on your back. You are only in this slide a few seconds as you face a very steep drop, which takes you around a bend in to a landing pool.

Black Thunder

A wide tube slide in which rain, thunder and lightning are simulated. However there was no flashing when I descended it this time, so evidently the lighting effects were either not working or intentionally switched off.

Dragon's Lair

Until 2004 this was called the Torpedo Run. You crossed an enclosed bridge and climbed a tall tower (off-set from the front of the building) to the launch point, set off down the slide and looped right round the tower before going "into the building". In 2005 that tower was demolished to make way for KFC. The replacement tower is not so tall, and the same slide, now called Dragon's Lair, now starts where the Torpedo Run "entered the building" after looping around the old tower. Personally I think that alteration spoilt the slide as it shortened it somewhat. In what's left of the former Torpedo Run, they've added a dragon face part way down and dragon sound effects to make the slide scarier. That enhancement is a bit of a gimmick really, which I feel doesn't really make up for shortening the slide from when it was the Torpedo Run. You land in a catch tray next to the Zambezi Drop catch tray.

I spoke to two lifeguards about that. Both remembered Torpedo Run in its old form, and agreed it's not so good now. The second lifeguard said the idea of Torpedo Run was to gain speed as you travelled downwards looping around the old tower prior to entering the building, so by the time you reached the steep drop shortly afterwards you were going really fast. Now there's not enough run-up to gain high speed before the steep drop (which is still present). He said the loss of the old tower to make way for KFC was beyond Spashdown's control (as a result of Tower Park getting new owners circa 2005), and the dragon theming was an attempt to make the best of what's left of the former Torpedo Run.

Space Bowl

The first time I ever saw this at Splashdown was when I visited on Saturday 24 July 2004. On my previous visit, 30 September 2001, it wasn't there. This was a much-needed retro-fit to the place, as I feel every good water park should have one. You begin your journey down a narrow tube slide which takes you into a giant space bowl. Once in there you spin around like a human pinball. The faster you enter the more times you spin around. Eventually you drop through the centre hole into the deep tank below (thus it's essential that you can swim). The best way to land is feet first. Don't land sideways so your elbow hits the water first. Finally you must exit the landing tank as quickly as possible.

Mississippi Drifter

You need a tyre to slide this. You step into a u-bend shaped splasher pool, go down a short slide into the second splasher pool, then down another short slide into a third splasher pool. From there you drift around a bend and down a ramp out of the building to begin the Grand Canyon.

N.B. Prior to the installation of the Space Bowl, the above ride began at the launch point for the present Space Bowl, and went down a slide which took you to the first splasher pool where you now begin the journey. At least the installation of the Space Bowl didn't spoil Mississippi Drifter in the way I feel the 2005 alteration spoilt Torpedo Run to become Dragon's Lair.

Next-door to the ramp which goes out of the building is another internal ramp. I think that takes you around a bend to the top of Black Thunder / Baron's Revenge. I read somewhere that during the winter, riders who have done Mississippi Drifter complete their journey down Black Thunder instead of Grand Canyon (which being an outdoor ride has to be closed all winter). I've never visited Splashdown in the winter when the outdoor rides are closed.

Grand Canyon

Having completed Mississippi Drifter the journey continues outside along the Grand Canyon. You drift along a lazy river type ride, around a bend and eventually enter a tube slide with a shower part way down. After that you pass through another outdoor splasher pool and go down a ramp into the building to land in a landing pool between Black Thunder and Colorado Coaster.

By leaving through the door at the back of the ground floor and walking up a path, you can climb a tower to access three outdoor flumes Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer. They weren't there when the place first opened circa 1990. The first ever time I saw those was on my 30th birthday visit there 30 September 2001.

Louisiana Leap

A wide tube slide, which until 2009 was only for under 12s. Since 2010, all sliders have had to use a tyre to slide this. That new rule was introduced to allow over 12s (including adults) to slide this flume. It consists of a series of twists and turns and lands in a catch tray.

Tennessee Twister

Another wide tube slide. When it first opened, this was an all-age slide. In 2007 the management decided to restrict this to under 12s, just like Louisiana Leap. That seemed totally unnecessary to me, as previous years I'd slid it and it seemed safe enough for adult use. Since 2010, all sliders have had to use a tyre to slide this, thereby allowing over 12s (including adults) to enjoy it again. It goes around a series of twists and turns to land in a catch tray.

Screamer

A narrow tube slide. Probably the scariest of all Splashdown's slides, you face a very steep drop as you gradually curve around to land in a catch tray. Not for the faint hearted!

The Splashdown Poole web site now has an animated graphic plan of the Park, showing all the slides (complete with statistics).

During my two hour session, I went on the slides in the following order:

Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Baron's Revenge x 4
Black Thunder x 2
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Screamer
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Screamer
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Screamer
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Screamer
Dragon's Lair x 6

It was really a bit cold to go on the outdoor slides I felt really cold whilst walking between the main building and outdoor slide tower. Within the slide tower it was still cold, albeit not as bad as outside. Thankfully I felt warmer within the outdoor slides themselves (Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer). Consequently it was hardly surprising that the said three outdoor slides were quiet, at worst one or two in front of me for a slide. The longest I had to wait was for a tyre at the slide exit prior to my final go on Tennessee Twister; four others were in front of me waiting for tyres.

The Dragon's Lair was surprisingly quiet when I went on it (at worst two or three in front of me, one go just me), which explains why I managed to cram six goes into the last 10 - 15 minutes of my first two hours.

After my sixth go on Dragon's Lair, my two hour session was over, so I went to the café to pay £1.50 for an extra hour. I wanted to begin my extra hour with the Space Bowl (as I'd not yet been on it), but due to its long queue I gave it a miss. Hence I continued as follows:

Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon x 4
Space Bowl

With my extra hour nearly up, I wanted to have one or two goes on Dragon's Lair during my remaining time, but the door at the bottom of the tower was closed. So I rounded off my session with the following slides:

Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Black Thunder x 2

At 5:25pm my extra hour was up, so I left the slides area and returned to the changing rooms. Once dressed I returned my smart band to the café and had my deposit back before leaving Splashdown at 5:42pm.

Cumulative Summary of Slides

Slide	Total
Baron's Revenge	4
Black Thunder	4
Colorado Coaster	6
Dragon's Lair	6
Louisiana Leap	4
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon	5
Red River Roller	6
Screamer	4
Space Bowl	1
Tennessee Twister	4
Zambezi Drop	6
TOTAL	50

Journey Home

I went into KFC just outside Splashdown to get myself an Avalanche, which I ate whilst waiting for the 17:54 bus back to Poole Bus Station. Having arrived there, I walked across to Poole train station and caught the 18:37 train back to Dorchester. Altogether, a great afternoon out.

Outro

Highlights

Three hours of water sliding at Splashdown.
High slide count considering the queue lengths.

Lowlights

A bit cold for the outdoor slides.
Only one go on Space Bowl; I would have liked more goes than that.

Summing Up

Altogether, three hours of "flumin' good fun" at "the South's ultimate water park". The only thing Splashdown could do with is a roller coaster water slide, like the one I've been on at Blackpool Water Park, Splash Waterworld at Butlins (Skegness and Minehead), Basingstoke Aquadrome, and Swansea LC. Not sure when I'll next visit Splashdown, most likely my next visit will be some time next year.