Nemesis Nick at Splashdown Poole 16 August 2014

Date: Saturday 16 August 2014
Venue: Splashdown Poole
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip

Since 2004 I've visited Splashdown once a year. From 2005 to 2011 I normally went on a Saturday in mid-September (exceptionally in 2009 I went on the second Saturday in October). That seemed an optimum time to go on two counts: (i) the place should be quieter than during the July / August peak season, (ii) such a time would still be before the weather started getting colder (important as some of the slides are outside). In 2012 and 2013 I went in July, on Saturdays which happened to be hot and sunny, with very little wind, which was ideal for the outdoor slides. For my summer 2014 visit I was hoping to go in July, but for various reasons didn't get round to it. As it happened, Saturday 16 August 2014 seemed a reasonably fair day weatherwise for a trip to Splashdown. Just one question, how busy would Splashdown be on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of August?

Getting To Splashdown

I was at Dorchester that weekend and therefore caught the 12:33 train from Dorchester South to Poole. Having arrived Poole at 13:04 I had a coffee at Shake Away in the town centre before going to the bus station. There I caught the 13:30 bus to Tower Park.

Splashdown

Splashdown is a large water park at Tower Park leisure complex on the outskirts of Poole. In fact, it claims to be "The South's Ultimate Water Park". Other amenities at Tower Park include Gala Bingo, Bowlplex (ten-pin bowling), Lemur Landings Soft Play Centre (a kids' indoor play area formerly called Monkey-Bizness) and Empire multi-screen cinema, along with fast food restaurants KFC and Burger King.

Welcome To Splashdown

I got into Splashdown around 14:00. A "busy day alert" sign warned of long queues for the slides, but I decided to go ahead with my visit anyway. At least I managed to get in straightaway, unlike Swansea LC six days earlier. You can buy a two hour ticket or an all-day ticket. Initially I bought a two-hour ticket, and just like previous years, had a discount by showing my Wilts & Dorset bus ticket (Poole Bus Station to Tower Park). Clearly this is an incentive for people to do their bit for the environment by taking the bus instead of their car to Splashdown.

Background Information

For the last few years they've used the smart band system. You have to pay a deposit which you get back when you return the smart band at the end of your visit. If you pay for two hours, the band is pre-loaded with two hours and ten minutes of sliding time. The extra ten minutes is to allow you ten minutes to change. Obviously if you manage to change quicker e.g. in five minutes, you can take advantage of those bonus minutes.

Each time you are about to go down a slide, you have to tag your band against a sensor which tells you how much time is left. Tagging the band changes the light from red to amber (and then to green when the slide is clear) or directly to green if clear. If the light flashes and the time left is zero, you can have that "final go" you've queued for, but can't have any more goes after that. Clearly, the smart band is to stop those who've paid for two hours staying longer!

Here is an outline of the indoor slides.

Colorado Coaster

A wide blue tube slide. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a landing pool.

Red River Roller

A narrow pink tube slide (however the entrance is red), which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a catch tray.

Zambezi Drop

A narrow yellow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a U-bend and a very steep drop until you land in a catch tray. Not for the faint hearted!

Baron's Revenge

A narrow black tube slide, which you must slide on your back. You are only in this slide a few seconds as you face a very steep drop, which takes you around a bend into a landing pool. A short, sharp shock treatment, not for the faint hearted!

Black Thunder

A wide tube slide in which rain, thunder and lightning are simulated. However there was no flashing when I descended it this time, so evidently the lighting effects were either not working or intentionally switched off. You land in a landing pool.

Dragon's Lair

Until 2004 this was called Torpedo Run. You crossed an enclosed bridge and climbed a tall tower (off-set from the front of the building) to the launch point, set off down the slide and looped right around the tower before going "into the building". In 2005 that tower was demolished to make way for KFC (an alteration which was beyond Splashdown's control). The replacement tower is not so tall, and the same slide, now called Dragon's Lair, now starts where the Torpedo Run "entered the building" after looping around the old tower. Personally I think that alteration spoilt the slide as it shortened it somewhat. In what's left of the former Torpedo Run, they've added a dragon face part way down and dragon sound effects to make the slide scarier. Personally I think that enhancement is a gimmick, which doesn't really make up for shortening the slide from when it was the Torpedo Run. You land in a catch tray next to the Zambezi Drop catch tray.

The idea of Torpedo Run was to gain speed as you travelled downwards looping around the old tower prior to entering the building, so by the time you reached the steep drop shortly afterwards you were going really fast. Now there's not enough run-up to gain high speed before the steep drop (which is still present), therefore the dragon theming was an attempt to make the best of what's left of the former Torpedo Run.

Space Bowl

The first time I ever saw this at Splashdown was when I visited on Saturday 24 July 2004. On my previous visit, 30 September 2001 (which was my 30th birthday), it wasn't there. This was a much-needed retro-fit to the place, as I feel every good water park should have a Space Bowl. You begin your journey down a narrow tube slide which takes you into a giant space bowl. Once in there you spin around like a human pinball. The faster you enter the more times you spin around. Eventually you drop through the centre hole into the deep tank below (thus it's essential that you can swim). The best way to land is feet first. Don't land sideways so your elbow hits the water first. Finally you must exit the landing tank as quickly as possible.

Mississippi Drifter

You need a tyre to slide this. You step into a u-bend shaped splasher pool, go down a short slide into the second splasher pool, then down another short slide into a third splasher pool. After going down one more short slide you drift around a bend and down a ramp out of the building to begin the Grand Canyon.

N.B. Prior to the installation of the Space Bowl, the above ride began at the launch point for the present Space Bowl, and went down a slide which took you to the first splasher pool where you now begin the journey. At least the installation of the Space Bowl didn't spoil Mississippi Drifter in the way I feel the 2005 alteration spoilt Torpedo Run to become Dragon's Lair.

Next-door to the ramp which goes out of the building is another internal ramp. I think that takes you around a bend to the top of Black Thunder / Baron's Revenge. I read somewhere that during the winter, riders who have done Mississippi Drifter complete their journey down Black Thunder instead of Grand Canyon (which being an outdoor ride has to be closed all winter). I've never visited Splashdown in the winter when the outdoor rides are closed.

Grand Canyon

Having completed Mississippi Drifter the journey continues outside along the Grand Canyon. You drift along a lazy river type ride, around a bend and eventually enter a tube slide with a shower part way down. After that you pass through another outdoor splasher pool and go down a ramp into the building to land in a landing pool between Black Thunder and Colorado Coaster.

By leaving through the door at the back of the ground floor and walking up a path, you can climb a tower to access four outdoor flumes Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister, Screamer and Velocity. None of these existed when Splashdown first opened circa 1990. The first ever time I saw Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer was on my 30th birthday visit there 30 September 2001, although I'm not exactly sure when they first opened. Velocity is the latest addition to this group, it opened early summer 2012. Being outdoor slides, these are closed in winter.

Louisiana Leap

A wide tube slide, which until 2009 was only for under 12s. Since 2010, all sliders have had to sit on a tyre to slide this. That new rule was introduced to allow over 12s (including adults) to slide this flume. It consists of a series of twists and turns and lands in a catch tray.

Tennessee Twister

Another wide tube slide. When it first opened, this was an all-age slide. In 2007 the management decided to restrict this to under 12s, just like Louisiana Leap. That seemed totally unnecessary to me, as previous years I'd slid it and it seemed safe enough for adult use. Since 2010, all sliders have had to sit on a tyre to slide this, thereby allowing over 12s (including adults) to enjoy it again. It goes around a series of twists and turns to land in a catch tray.

Screamer

A narrow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. One of the scariest of all Splashdown's slides, you face a very steep drop as you gradually curve around to land in a catch tray. Not for the faint hearted!

Velocity

Splashdown's newest slide, which opened in 2012. It launches from the same tower as Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer; its launch point is directly opposite the launch point for Screamer. This is a narrow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. Shortly after the start you go down the steep drop (albeit not vertical), and really fast along the almost flat run-out. Not for the faint hearted! If any slide is scarier than Screamer, this is it. It's certainly a thrilling addition to the complex, but it was all over too quickly for my liking. Worse still, at the end, one has to walk down some steps which are set in the hill side to return to the bottom of the main tower. I think it would have been better if this slide had been continued further down the hill to land at the same level as the other three aforementioned outdoor flumes.

The Splashdown Poole web site has an animated graphic plan of the Park, showing all the slides (including Velocity which opened in 2012), complete with statistics.

My First Two Hours

I entered the slides area eager to begin sliding. On past visits I've begun with Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop, but this time the queues for all three of those slides were too long for my liking. Instead I began this visit with two goes on Dragon's Lair, which had a considerably shorter waiting time. Next I headed for the outdoor slides. There was a chilly wind whilst waiting for a tyre, but once I was inside the tower conditions were bearable, and it felt warmer still inside the slides. I enjoyed Louisiana Leap and Tennessee Twister in sequence three times over. The wait for those slides was quite short, and I was able to keep my tyre between goes. Having given up my tyre I enjoyed Screamer and Velocity in sequence three times over, both of which had short queues.

Back inside the building I approached Colorado Coaster. Its queue was too long for my liking but I just waited as I thought I might never go on it if I backed off. Due to its queueing time, I limited myself to one go for now. Afterwards I went down Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop (both of which had considerably shorter queues) in sequence three times over.

My Exra Time

At this point I returned to the café to pay £1.50 for an extra hour. Back in the slides area I began with one go on Baron's Revenge. Its queue was longer than I expected. The queue for Black Thunder was even longer, so I limited myself to one go. Afterwards I had one more go on Baron's Revenge.

I had yet to ride the Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon tyre ride. I had to wait a few minutes for a tyre at the bottom, but fortunately I quickly managed to get on to the ride at the top. The indoor part Mississippi Drifter was great fun, but it was a bit cold for the outdoor Grand Canyon part. For now I just had one go.

Next I enjoyed Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop in sequence twice over. Thankfully the queues for those slides were now shorter than earlier. Afterwards I fancied another go on the Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon tyre ride. This time the queue for a tyre was shorter than earlier, but nonetheless I limited myself to just one go on this tyre ride. Finally I just had time for four more exciting goes on Dragon's Lair before my time was up.

Summary of my sliding:

First two hours:

Dragon's Lair 2

Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister

The Screamer
Velocity
The Screamer
Velocity
The Screamer
Velocity

Colorado Coaster

Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop

Extra time:

Baron's Revenge
Black Thunder
Baron's Revenge
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon

Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop

Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon
Dragon's Lair 4

Cumulative summary of slides:

Slide	Total
Baron's Revenge	2
Black Thunder	1
Colorado Coaster	3
Dragon's Lair	6
Louisiana Leap	3
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon	2
Red River Roller	5
Tennessee Twister	3
The Screamer	3
Velocity	3
Zambezi Drop	5
TOTAL	36

Rest of Day

After leaving Splashdown I caught the 18:16 bus back to Poole Bus Station. When I arrived there around 18:40 the bus station fish and chip shop was still open, so from there I bought myself fish and large chips, which I ate at a seat in the bus station. The portion size was larger than I expected and, unusual for me, I was unable to eat all my chips. Had I known I'd have ordered standard chips. Afterwards I returned to Poole train station and got there just in time for the 19:37 train back to Dorchester.

Outro

Highlights

Sliding the indoor and outdoor flumes and tyre ride again.
Reasonable slide count considering how busy the place was.

Lowlights

Some queues were too long for my liking.
Missing the Space Bowl altogether due to its queue length this time.
It was a bit chilly for riding the Grand Canyon and approaching the outdoor flume tower.

Summing Up

Altogether, an afternoon of "flumin' good fun" at "the South's ultimate water park". The only extra Splashdown could do with is a roller coaster water slide, like the ones I've been on at Blackpool Water Park, Splash Waterworld at Butlins (Skegness and Minehead), Basingstoke Aquadrome, and Swansea LC. It's a pity the place was a bit busy overall and thus the queues for some indoor slides were too long for my liking. My biggest disappointment was not sliding Space Bowl at all, due to its queue being really long all afternoon. Maybe going on a Saturday in the middle of August wasn't such a good idea after all. The fish and chip takeaway in Poole town centre early evening was the perfect end to a wet and wild afternoon. Altogether a great afternoon and early evening out.

I'm not sure when I'll next visit Splashdown, most likely my next visit will be some time next year.