Nemesis Nick at Splashdown Poole 21 July 2012

Date: Saturday 21 July 2012
Venue: Splashdown Poole
Who Went: Just me

Rationale For Trip

Since 2004 I've visited Splashdown once a year. From 2005 to 2011 I've normally gone there on a Saturday in mid-September (although in 2009 I went on the second Saturday in October). That seemed an optimum time to go those years on two counts: (i) the place should be quieter than during the July / August peak season, (ii) such a time would still be before the weather started getting colder (important as some of the slides are outside). During my last visit on Saturday 17 September 2011, it was a bit cold outside for the outdoor slides.

This time Saturday 21 July 2012 was expected to be a hot sunny day, and therefore a better time to go for the outdoor slides. Obviously there was the possibility of the place being exceptionally busy as it was the Saturday at the start of the school summer holiday, but on the other hand (i) I have been led to believe Splashdown tends to be busiest on rainy summer days, (ii) after all the recent wet weather, people may prefer to go somewhere outdoors on such a sunny day and (iii) it was quite busy when I went in mid-September last year (I only had time for one go on the Space Bowl).

Getting To Splashdown

I was at Dorchester that weekend and therefore caught the 12:13 train from Dorchester South to Poole. Having arrived Poole at 12:38 I explored the Dolphin Shopping Centre for about half an hour before going to the bus station. There I caught the 13:30 bus to Tower Park.

Splashdown is a large water park at Tower Park leisure complex on the outskirts of Poole. In fact, it claims to be "The South's Ultimate Water Park". Other amenities at Tower Park include Gala Bingo, Bowlplex (ten-pin bowling), Lemur Landings Soft Play Centre (a kids' indoor play area formerly called Monkey-Bizness) and Empire multi-screen cinema, along with fast food restaurants KFC and Burger King.

Afternoon at Splashdown

I got into Splashdown around 2pm. You can buy a two hour ticket or an all-day ticket. Initially I bought a two-hour ticket. The full price for two hours is £9.80, but by showing my Wilts & Dorset bus ticket (Poole Bus Station to Tower Park), I had a two hour ticket for the discounted price of £8.80. Clearly this is an incentive for people to do their bit for the environment by taking the bus instead of their car to Splashdown.

For the last few years they've used the smart band system. You have to pay a deposit which you get back when you return the smart band at the end of your visit. If you pay for two hours, the band is pre-loaded with two hours and ten minutes of sliding time. The extra ten minutes is to allow you ten minutes to change. Obviously if you manage to change quicker e.g. in five minutes, you can take advantage of those bonus minutes.

Each time you are about to go down a slide, you have to tag your band against a sensor which tells you how much time is left. Tagging the band changes the light from red to amber (and then to green when the slide is clear) or directly to green if clear. If the light flashes and the time left is zero, you can have that "final go" you've queued for, but can't have any more goes after that. Clearly, the smart band is to stop those who've paid for two hours staying longer!

Here is an outline of the indoor slides.

Colorado Coaster

A wide blue tube slide. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a landing pool.

Red River Roller

A narrow pink tube slide, which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed by a series of twists and turns until you land in a catch tray.

Zambezi Drop

A narrow yellow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. There's a shallow descent over the roof of the back section of the building, followed U-bend and a very steep drop until you land in a catch tray. Not for the faint hearted!

Baron's Revenge

A narrow black tube slide, which you must slide on your back. You are only in this slide a few seconds as you face a very steep drop, which takes you around a bend in to a landing pool. A short, sharp shock treatment, not for the faint hearted!

Black Thunder

A wide tube slide in which rain, thunder and lightning are simulated. However there was no flashing when I descended it this time, so evidently the lighting effects were either not working or intentionally switched off.

Dragon's Lair

Until 2004 this was called Torpedo Run. You crossed an enclosed bridge and climbed a tall tower (off-set from the front of the building) to the launch point, set off down the slide and looped right around the tower before going "into the building". In 2005 that tower was demolished to make way for KFC (an alteration which was beyond Splashdown's control). The replacement tower is not so tall, and the same slide, now called Dragon's Lair, now starts where the Torpedo Run "entered the building" after looping around the old tower. Personally I think that alteration spoilt the slide as it shortened it somewhat. In what's left of the former Torpedo Run, they've added a dragon face part way down and dragon sound effects to make the slide scarier. Personally I think that enhancement is a gimmick, which doesn't really make up for shortening the slide from when it was the Torpedo Run. You land in a catch tray next to the Zambezi Drop catch tray.

The idea of Torpedo Run was to gain speed as you travelled downwards looping around the old tower prior to entering the building, so by the time you reached the steep drop shortly afterwards you were going really fast. Now there's not enough run-up to gain high speed before the steep drop (which is still present), therefore the dragon theming was an attempt to make the best of what's left of the former Torpedo Run. This time a lifeguard told me they've still got the Torpedo Run sign in the office.

Space Bowl

The first time I ever saw this at Splashdown was when I visited on Saturday 24 July 2004. On my previous visit, 30 September 2001 (which was my 30th birthday), it wasn't there. This was a much-needed retro-fit to the place, as I feel every good water park should have a Space Bowl. You begin your journey down a narrow tube slide which takes you into a giant space bowl. Once in there you spin around like a human pinball. The faster you enter the more times you spin around. Eventually you drop through the centre hole into the deep tank below (thus it's essential that you can swim). The best way to land is feet first. Don't land sideways so your elbow hits the water first. Finally you must exit the landing tank as quickly as possible.

Mississippi Drifter

You need a tyre to slide this. You step into a u-bend shaped splasher pool, go down a short slide into the second splasher pool, then down another short slide into a third splasher pool. From there you drift around a bend and down a ramp out of the building to begin the Grand Canyon.

N.B. Prior to the installation of the Space Bowl, the above ride began at the launch point for the present Space Bowl, and went down a slide which took you to the first splasher pool where you now begin the journey. At least the installation of the Space Bowl didn't spoil Mississippi Drifter in the way I feel the 2005 alteration spoilt Torpedo Run to become Dragon's Lair.

Next-door to the ramp which goes out of the building is another internal ramp. I think that takes you around a bend to the top of Black Thunder / Baron's Revenge. I read somewhere that during the winter, riders who have done Mississippi Drifter complete their journey down Black Thunder instead of Grand Canyon (which being an outdoor ride has to be closed all winter). I've never visited Splashdown in the winter when the outdoor rides are closed.

Grand Canyon

Having completed Mississippi Drifter the journey continues outside along the Grand Canyon. You drift along a lazy river type ride, around a bend and eventually enter a tube slide with a shower part way down. After that you pass through another outdoor splasher pool and go down a ramp into the building to land in a landing pool between Black Thunder and Colorado Coaster.

By leaving through the door at the back of the ground floor and walking up a path, you can climb a tower to access four outdoor flumes Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister, Screamer and Velocity. None of these existed when Splashdown first opened circa 1990. The first ever time I saw Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer was on my 30th birthday visit there 30 September 2001, although I'm not exactly sure when they first opened. Velocity is the latest addition to this group, it opened early summer 2012. Being outdoor slides, these are closed in winter.

Louisiana Leap

A wide tube slide, which until 2009 was only for under 12s. Since 2010, all sliders have had to sit on a tyre to slide this. That new rule was introduced to allow over 12s (including adults) to slide this flume. It consists of a series of twists and turns and lands in a catch tray.

Tennessee Twister

Another wide tube slide. When it first opened, this was an all-age slide. In 2007 the management decided to restrict this to under 12s, just like Louisiana Leap. That seemed totally unnecessary to me, as previous years I'd slid it and it seemed safe enough for adult use. Since 2010, all sliders have had to sit on a tyre to slide this, thereby allowing over 12s (including adults) to enjoy it again. It goes around a series of twists and turns to land in a catch tray.

Screamer

A narrow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. One of the scariest of all Splashdown's slides, you face a very steep drop as you gradually curve around to land in a catch tray. Not for the faint hearted!

Velocity

New for 2012, this slide launches from the same tower as Louisiana Leap, Tennessee Twister and Screamer; its launch point is directly opposite the launch point for Screamer. It is a narrow tube slide, which you must slide on your back. Shortly after the start you go down the steep drop (albeit not vertical), and really fast along the almost flat run-out. Not for the faint hearted! If any slide is scarier than Screamer, this is it. It's certainly a thrilling addition to the complex, but it was all over too quickly for my liking. Worse still, at the end, one has to walk down some steps which are set in the hill side to return to the bottom of the main tower. I think it would have been better if this slide had been continued further down the hill to land at the same level as the other three aforementioned outdoor flumes.

The Splashdown Poole web site now has an animated graphic plan of the Park, showing all the slides (complete with statistics). Please note that, at the time of posting this report, Velocity is not on there as it only recently opened.

My First Two Hours

I began by sliding Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop in sequence three times over. The waiting time for these was longer than I would have liked. Furthermore I thought the water in Colorado Coaster was a bit cold.

Next I headed for the four outdoor slides. When I reached the tower, I collected a tyre. The queue for Screamer and Velocity was currently quite long. That was hardly surprising; I expected a lot of people would be eager to try the new slide Velocity. For now I enjoyed Louisiana Leap and Tennessee Twister in sequence four times over. After that, the queue for Screamer and Velocity was quite short, so I enjoyed Screamer and Velocity in sequence four times over.

There was a rather chilly draught as I entered the tower each time, but whilst waiting at the top for my goes on this group of slides it was rather hot. Inside the slides it was comfortably warm. I'd certainly picked a good day to enjoy the outdoor slides.

At this point I returned to the building and enjoyed four short, sharp shock goes on Baron's Revenge, followed by four goes on Black Thunder.

I was now coming close to the end of my first two hours, so I tried to cram in as many goes as I could on Dragon's Lair. This was surprisingly quiet, only two or three in front of me at a time, so I managed three goes on Dragon's Lair in my remaining time.

Now that my two hours were up, I returned to the café to pay £1.50 for an extra hour. Unfortunately they were unable to add extra time to my wristband as the computer system was down. I had to wait a few minutes for the PC to reboot. Eventually it was up and running again and they were able to add extra time to my wristband. As a way of apologising for the delay I had faced, my time was extended free of charge until closing time of 18:30, which was still over two hours away.

My Extra Time

Having returned to the slides area, I began with one go on Black Thunder. I deliberately chose that slide as there was no queue and I wanted to check my wristband had been reloaded with time. All was fine, time had been successfully added to my wristband and I was able to continue sliding.

So far I'd still not been on the Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon tyre ride, so I decided to do that next. I enjoyed a total of four goes on the Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon tyre ride. Each time there was a minimal wait (if at all) for tyres and for the launch point at the top.

Next I returned to the Dragon's Lair. This was still surprisingly quiet; at worst there were two or three in front of me. I enjoyed nine goes; on several of them no-one else was in front of me.

After that I returned to Colorado Coaster, Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop. I enjoyed these three slides in sequence five times over. This time the queues were quite short, and the water in Colorado Coaster seemed warmer than earlier.

So far I'd still not been on the Space Bowl, so I was determined to get at least one go before leaving. Thankfully it was now much quieter than earlier, with just a few other people in front of me each time. I enjoyed six goes.

I was hoping to have a couple more goes on the Space Bowl, but when I returned for my seventh go, some people on the stairs after a certain point were told to leave the queue as it was now close to closing time. Being as I'd already ascended the main staircase, I enjoyed one more go on Colorado Coaster instead.

I returned to the top thinking there'd be time for one go each on Red River Roller and Zambezi Drop. As I stood by Red River Roller launch point, the lifeguard said this would have to be my last ride, so I declined to go down it and went down Zambezi Drop instead. I felt that Zambezi Drop with its steep drop would be a better slide to end my visit with than Red River Roller.

Summary of my sliding:

First two hours:

Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop

Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister
Louisiana Leap
Tennessee Twister

Screamer
Velocity
Screamer
Velocity
Screamer
Velocity
Screamer
Velocity

Baron's Revenge x 4
Black Thunder x 4
Dragon's Lair x 3

Extra time:

Black Thunder
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon x 4
Dragon's Lair x 9

Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop
Colorado Coaster
Red River Roller
Zambezi Drop

Space Bowl x 6
Colorado Coaster
Zambezi Drop

Cumulative summary of slides:

Slide	Total
Baron's Revenge	4
Black Thunder	5
Colorado Coaster	9
Dragon's Lair	12
Louisiana Leap	4
Mississippi Drifter / Grand Canyon	4
Red River Roller	8
Screamer	4
Space Bowl	6
Tennessee Twister	4
Velocity	4
Zambezi Drop	9
TOTAL	73

Rest of Day

After leaving Splashdown at 18:47, I caught the 18:54 bus back to Poole Bus Station. Having arrived there, I wanted to get fish and chips from the fish and chip shop located at the bus station. Unfortunately that was now closed. Thankfully I found another fish and chip shop in the town centre: Long John's Fish & Chips, which was open. From there I had a fish and chip takeaway which I ate at a nearby park. Afterwards I fancied an ice cream, so I went to McDonalds in the town centre to get a takeaway McFlurry. Having left McDonalds, I returned to Poole train station, where I enjoyed my McFlurry whilst awaiting the 20:14 train back to Dorchester. Altogether, a great afternoon and early evening out.

Outro

Highlights

Over four hours of water sliding at Splashdown.
Sliding the new flume Velocity for the first time ever.
Nine goes straight off on Dragon's Lair during extra time.
High slide count considering the queue lengths.

Lowlights

Delay in adding extra time to my wristband when my first two hours were over.

Summing Up

Altogether, over four hours of "flumin' good fun" at "the South's ultimate water park". The only thing Splashdown could do with is a roller coaster water slide, like the one I've been on at Blackpool Water Park, Splash Waterworld at Butlins (Skegness and Minehead), Basingstoke Aquadrome, and Swansea LC. I'm not sure when I'll next visit Splashdown, most likely my next visit will be some time next year.

See you at Oakwood for RCCGB Mega-Glow-Mania on Friday and Folly Farm on Saturday.